My Life with 3 Boys and a fat Cat!

Wish I could be blind

2012-02-05T14:28:00.000-05:00

HH and I weren't teenagers when I got pregnant with Aiden but we weren't exactly in the prime spot to be having a baby either. I was 21, he was 23. We'd been together for 3 years and things were good but we were still just kids. We partied, we stayed up late, I worked 3 jobs and we just went along our merry way.

Aiden changed all of that. In a good way, in a HUGE way.

Through my pregnancy I just sort of did it. I didn't read books, I skipped the birthing classes, these online communities didn't exist the way they do today and the only people that I had to turn to was my mom, the girls I worked with and my 2 friends who were also pregnant/had just had babies. Of course they were as clueless as I was (if you're reading this, hi girls!) so it was the blind leading the blind. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to being blind.

I've said it before, there is such a thing as too much information.

With Aiden I didn't compare myself to other parents, I never worried that other moms would think I was doing something wrong. I just did it, I did whatever worked for us in that moment. There was no right or wrong in my world back then...it was all about survival and making the most of what we had. Sure, I doubted myself plenty of times. I cried, I yelled, I laughed and then I sucked it up and kept going. If something was wrong and I didn't know what to do I didn't run to the internet to find the answer. I got on the phone and I called my mom, my aunt or a friend. From there I decided what I thought would work or if it was something that required it, I called the Dr.

Guess what? Aiden made it through infancy and toddlerhood just fine and in one piece.

Now, bring on Ian and I'm immersed in a world of online communities, social media and GOOGLE. Oh, gotta love the internets. (or interwebs if you prefer) While I adore all of these sites I sometimes wish I could go back to the days when I just went on blindly. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. It really is. I wouldn't wonder if I made the right choice in not sending Ian to preschool this year, I wouldn't read posts from other moms about their kids reading and writing and doing math(!!!) and wonder why my kid wasn't there yet. In my blind little world there would be the occasional parenting magazines with tips on getting organized but there wouldn't be an entire website just asking to make me feel guilty for not giving a damn about crafts.

I don't think we intentionally set out to make another mom feel guilty or feel like she's doing less then a perfect job at raising her kids...but it happens. It's inevitable, especially when it's all just so accessible. Everyone wants validation that they're doing something right and so they post on a message board, update their facebook, create a blog...whatever...so that other mom's will ohhh and ahh and say "wow, you are doing a great job"

So, for all of those mom's out there that are just trying to figure it out one day at a time: You're doing a great job!! For all of those mom's out there that don't do crafts with their kids, skip the bedtime book b/c omg you just need them to sleep right now: You're doing a good job! For the parents who want to ship their kids off to grandma the second it hits 5pm on Friday b/c you NEED a night out: You're doing a good job!

Let's stop comparing ourselves to others, stop trying to measure up, stop trying to make sure we fit in to some kind of mold that WE think we should be in...and let's just start parenting, parenting in a way that works for us and screw everyone else.

Funny things kids say

2012-02-03T12:03:00.000-05:00

Ian's current favorites:

My nose is melting! (said when he has a runny nose)
Awe, nuts!
What...The...!! (we can thank his older brother for this one)
I just LOVE it. I love green. Mommy, I don't love purple. But MOMMY, I LOVE it!! (you get the idea)

Generally, he's pretty freakin' cute.

Aiden's new ones:

I'm just being startastic (I don't bother correcting his pronunciation b/c I think it's cute)
Seriously MOM
Oh you think you're SO funny

Clearly we're getting in to the tweet attitude and away from the cute-ness, but I'll take it. I like that he gets me when I'm being "startastic".

Friends

2012-01-22T22:24:00.000-05:00

I'm trying really hard to concentrate on my friends that love me, warts and all. I have some friends that I truly love dearly and for some reason, they don't feel the same. I dwell on it, I wonder why, I want to know what happened or what went wrong. Part of me wants to ask what happened but the other part of me says that the people in my life that matter, are the ones that are here. The ones that want to know how I'm doing, what's going on in my life and take the time to check in.

We're all grown ups with our own real problems and our own not so real problems. We all lose track of what's important, we forget to return a text or a phone call, time goes by and we realize that we haven't had a good old fashion laugh until you cry night out with the girls in far too long. The friends that matter, the friends that are worth keeping around are the ones you can call and they'll be sitting next to you, laughing until you cry, as if no time has passed. Those are the people I want in my life. Those are the friends, the family, that matter. The rest? The rest are just filler on my facebook page.

My question is, what happens when someone goes from being the real friend to the filler friend? How do you accept that and move on? I don't like it, but at the same time, I don't think I have a choice in changing it.

Wine, maybe I should stop drinking it. It makes me sappy. I'll stick to margaritas, those make me feisty. ;)

I will not fall in to the Pinterest trap

2012-01-05T18:40:00.000-05:00

I pinned all of these really cool ideas for Aiden's birthday party. Cakes, decorations, favors, games. That site is like crack, you just can't get enough. One.More.Pin. but OMGDIDYOUSEETHISINEEDITNOW

The fact is, his birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas and 1 week after New Years. I have a bridal show for work next week, I have decorations to take down and toys to find homes for. I'm in the middle of silent auction ~~hell~~ planning.I have an insane 3 year old that is home with me. I barely have time to throw chicken nuggets and smiley fries in the oven much less try to figure out how to bake and ice a cake in the shape of a football.

So, thank you Giant Eagle for having an overpriced cake with a Steelers magnet that made my 9 year old happy. My sanity is worth the $26 it's going to cost me for 8 boys to eat the icing.

I am going to do a few of the ideas I pinned, spy training exercises and popcorn container favors. I am not going to feel guilty that he's not getting a homemade cake and my house won't look like something out of a magazine. He's not going to remember that shit, he's going to remember his parents letting him invite 7 of his friends over to stay the night for his birthday...and chances are he's going to remember whatever it is they're going to break tomorrow night. They're boys, 8 of them, you know they're going to break something.

OMG do they like me?!

2012-01-02T09:10:00.000-05:00

I read this post this morning, while watching a Casper Christmas movie with the boys and drinking coffee.

It hit me. The reason I don't always say what I want to say, why I don't always blog about the things I want to blog about. The reason I bite my tongue when sometimes I shouldn't or why I let things bottle up inside until I'm ready to explode.

I want people to like me. I enjoy being the best friend, the girl people go to for help, for advice or just to talk. At some point in my life I decided that I if I said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing people wouldn't like me. I couldn't even begin to pin point when this happened. I have amazing friends and I'm pretty sure even if they disagreed with something I said, shared differing views on things of major importance, they'd still be my friends.

So the question is, why do I hold back? I'm not ever going to be the funny one, the controversial one, the life of the party or the girl that always has it together. I don't fit in to any of those categories. It's not me, it's not my personality. I'm never going to care about international news the way my husband does, I'm never going to be a tv junkie, follow celebrity gossip or have a strong opinion on color schemes and clothes.

At some point I need to get back to being just me and stop trying to be the person I think people will like. In the end it doesn't matter if everyone likes me as long as I like me.

First up on my list of ways to get back to just being me? Facebook friend purge. I have almost 300 Facebook friends. I'm sorry, but I don't think I know 300 people that really give a damn about what is going on in my life.

I'm going to have a NINE year old

2012-01-01T17:47:00.000-05:00

Nine people, NINE!

that is one year away from TEN...which means I will have been a mom for a full decade.

That is just crazy. It is. I'm not sure I can wrap my tiny little brain around that. Let's not even talk about what happens in just a few short years. EEK!

I suppose we're not doing too bad of a job, he has manners and people seem to like him. He does okay in school, has friends, picks on his brother and at least once a day makes me want to pick him up and throw him. Of course he also makes me smile, laugh and want to just hug him tight and never let him grow up. It all works out.

I'm in birthday party planning mode. I'm going to have 7 of his friends staying the night at my house on Friday. Send wine. Send coffee. Send vodka.

It's going to be a Steelers party, much to my Browns loving husband's dismay. In true tween fashion, he loves to rebel against everything his parents like and in this case, he's taken it a step farther and has decided to cheer for the enemy. I may or may not encourage this nonsense just for sport and driving my husband crazy. ;)

So far for the party we'll have pizza, football shaped cake (yellow cake with chocolate frosting, of course), assorted popcorn flavors, training exercises, and movies. I need a good football themed kids movie.

Generally with his birthday being two weeks after Christmas he gets the shaft on the party planning, I'm trying not to suck this year by planning all of a week in advance. Go me.

It's getting to be that time of year

2011-12-29T20:49:00.000-05:00

You know, the time that everyone says "This year will be different!"

Ya know what...this year won't be different. My kids will still drive me crazy, I'll still snap too fast, I'll still do something that I'm sure they'll talk about in therapy later and I'll continue to move forward. We'll have some really awesome days and we'll have some days that suck. Hopefully we'll pay off some bills, put some money in the bank and work on getting in to a better house.

If I have to set a goal for 2012, it's to make it the year I don't have to apologize.

I'm a people pleaser by nature, I like to make people happy and sometimes in doing so, I apologize even when I really don't have anything to be sorry about. It's a guilt issue...I have serious guilt issues. I'd like to let those go, not just for this year but for good.

I'm not sorry I had to throw away the toy you bought my kids, they're kids and the toy was broken...it was played with and now it's time for it to go. I'm not sorry that I don't feel like meeting you tonight because I'd rather sit on my ass and watch Netflix. Sometimes, I'd just rather sit on my ass and watch Netflix. I'm not sorry that I'm not available every.single.time you need me to be. I'm not sorry that my kids, my husband and my marriage come first. I'm not sorry that my parenting isn't the same as yours. I'm not sorry that my house is a mess, I have Netflix to watch and games of candyland to play. I'm not sorry that you are an idiot and I can't be bothered to deal with you anymore. I'm just not.
On the flip side, I'd like to improve so that I don't *have* to say I'm sorry. This mostly applies to work.

So while no, I'm not making resolutions for the year here is my list of things I will not be doing this year (in no particular order)

*picking up running. I don't run...unless someone is trying to snag the last bottle of Mascato at the grocery store. Then, maybe.
*taking a picture every day
*blogging on a regular basis
*keeping my house company ready every day
*

A product review? Me? REALLY?

2011-09-28T13:00:00.000-04:00

So the folks over at Pictures on Canvas contacted me about doing a product review. I'm sure you are wondering why on earth they would choose a blog such as mine, that gets updated once in a blue moon. Trust me, I wondered too. My friend Andrea posted a blog hop awhile back about siblings. It's actually one of my personal favorite posts here on the ol' blog. It apparently caught the attention of this company and they asked if I'd review their product.

Well, of course I will. Am easy.

After taking forever to order, totally my own slacker-ness, I chose an image that I just love. It reminds me that this is my life and that THIS is what it's all about. It's not about matching clothes and smiling for the camera. You don't need to have a perfect setting and lighting that is just right to have an image that makes you smile.
Oh wait, you guys probably recognize it from up at the top. Yep.

Now, you'll have to excuse the crappy picture. My camera is dead and the charger is MIA. This is as good as it gets right now. The canvas (that was FREE!) is an 8x10. I probably should have upgraded to the 11x14 but regardless, I love it. Good quality and it came ready to hang on the wall (with super fast shipping to boot)

BTW, we've been busy around here. I promise there are updates to come and pictures to show off.

In case you were wondering

2011-07-17T13:27:00.000-04:00

I don't have baby fever.

At. All.

Ian is 3 now, he's fun and crazy and adorable and I am actually loving the stage we're in right now. I hate the fighting with his brother, the constant screaming over toys makes me want to walk out and just hide on a daily basis but 90% of the time...we're good. Am I bummed he's getting SO big, SO fast? Of course....but I have zero desire to have another baby in the house. I like cuddling other newborns for short periods of time, but then I'm good. I like handing them back and going back to my 2 kids that can talk to me, climb in their own seats, choose their bedtime books, play in the bath tub and run around the park without mommy being on their heels every second.

Why am I telling you this? Well, it's simple, for whatever reason there are people that just can't seem to figure this out. My mother, for one.

Also...while we're at it, we did not decide to stop at 2 because Ian is insane. Yes, he is going to be my wild child but we were 98% sure we were done while I was pregnant. I was the hold out on that 2% and it was just the hormones. Hubby had the ol' snip snip...we are not having another baby. So please PLEASE stop asking. Stop making comments about trying for a girl and on the flip side don't act like my 3 year old is such a terror that we couldn't possibly want to do it again. Both scenarios are wrong. We decided to stop at 2 because our family is complete. I know my limits, I know what I can handle and this is it. HH feels the same...

That's my rant for today. Pictures and updates on my crazy kids soon. We're having a whole lot of fun in the sun this summer!!

Super quick and pointless update.

2011-05-26T21:29:00.000-04:00

First:
I big puffy heart Old Navy...and THIS is just one more reason why you should too!

Second:
My life is stupid crazy busy right now. As in my to-do list is pages long and every time I cross something off I have 14 things to add. I'm kind of stressed, kind of excited, kind of just...yea...crazy. Good thing I generally enjoy crazy!

Third (and really, most important)
Check out Andrea's Blog HERE
Read about this amazing fundraiser for an even more amazing family. Do you know Jen? I'll be you do...Jen kind of rocks.

Okay...yep, that's it from me for now.

Marching for Babies

2011-05-07T19:51:00.000-04:00

When I had Aiden I was pretty oblivious to anything pregnancy related. I didn't know a damn thing about infertility, I didn't know anything about pre-mature births, NICU or really...anything. I mean I figured out how to deal with MY baby...but babies in general? I was clueless. It's not true what they say, just because you spend your tween & teenage years babysitting does not mean you'll just know how to be a mom. Babysitting of any kind does NOT make you a mother...or give you any kind of clue as to what it's like to have and raise a child of your own. The people that say that...they're full of crap.

As Aiden got older I figured stuff out, he's an 8 year old who is pretty well mannered and generally well behaved. We haven't totally screwed him up, which is good. It wasn't until I was trying to get pregnant with Ian that I really had any idea of what people go through to have a baby. Or what parents go through when they lose a baby. Losing a baby is what prompted me to start this blog, but even then I don't think I totally "got it".

As I was planning my wedding and walking down the aisle my cousin was suffering through the loss of her son. At the time I was in my own little bubble and I only heard bits and pieces of what happened through the family grape vine. I wish I could go back and change that, to be there for her, but I can't. She went on to have my little cousin, and then after that went on to lose triplets...and then to have my other little cousin who actually made it PAST his due date.

This is the second year that we've marched in honor/celebration and memory of those babies. I look at her, her husband and her boys and I'm in awe. I'm in awe of her strength and her courage and her love for her children.

I have a friend with a little girl fighting daily in the NICU, constantly fighting an uphill battle that most grown adults wouldn't be able to handle. She's amazing, as are her parents and her big sister. This and all of the other babies born too early that spend too long in the NICU or never get to go home with their parents are the reasons we march.

March for Babies 2011

A post once a month?

2011-04-06T23:01:00.000-04:00

So yea, I haven't posted in a month...shocking, right?? I figured it was time to give you a recap of the lovely dinner we had this evening.

We had my parents over for their anniversary. On the menu? Stuffed clams, blackened scallops on a bed of smoked gouda risotto, a salad of mixed greens, green beans and cookies with vanilla ice cream for dessert. We're fancy around here...just ignore the fact that we use paper towels instead of napkins and our dinner table has a lot of toddler art work on it.

So we're all sitting down to eat and by eat I mean the adults are eating, Aiden is pushing his risotto around and Ian is climbing under the table and biting his brother's leg. Yep, just your average dinner around here. We're laughing because my parents were originally going out to dinner and invited us but I knew better then to take ~~the demon spawn~~
Ian out in public so late in the evening.

At some point Aiden mentions being hit in the balls.
HH: Aiden, really?
A: What?
HH: Balls? How about nuts?
M: Guys! We're at the dinner table!
A: What mommy? You don't even have balls.
**at this point my dad is trying really hard to hide the smirk on his face**
A: Fine, privates. Is that better?
M: Will you please just eat your dinner?

A little while later Aiden is telling some story, the child does.not.stop.talking these days and I'm not going to lie, I only listen to about 45% of it. Have you seen the Louis CK skit about ignoring what his daughter says b/c nothing she says matters? I think of that every time I zone out and just nod and smile while he talks. It's not that I don't enjoy his stories, I do, but sometimes he just goes on and on and on....and really, I have a lot of stuff on my mind. Like vacation and dieting and how long until bedtime. See? Busy girl.

Anyway, totally off topic. As he's telling his story he says something is stupid and then follows it up with a rather large burp. HH chimes in to help.
HH: Aiden!!
A: What? I said excuse me.
HH: You said stupid and then burped.
A: I can't help it.
HH: You need to watch your mouth.
A: But stupid isn't a bad word.
M: (chiming in b/c HH seems to be missing a major point)
You know you don't talk like that and please do not burp at the dinner table, it's rude.
A: Well just because girls don't burp mommy **hysterical laughter**
M: Aiden...
HH: Yea, they don't fart either
A: hahahah, I know. Only boys do
M: Really guys???
A: OUCH, MOMMY IAN BIT MY LEG AGAIN!

**I'm surprised my parents didn't decide to take their food to go at this point, but they survived dinner. They even survived HH's song and dance about the fact that he's getting the big V next week. And Aiden made a comment that mommy isn't having any more babies because she's scared. Oh, if he only knew...**

When did that happen??

2011-03-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

Growing up I watched my mom get ready every day. She did her hair, she applied her make up and she never left the house without lipstick. It's who she was. I grew up always wanting makeup and playing dress up. It's who I was.

As a teenager I had more makeup then most adults I knew. I had painted nails and full make up on all the time. I didn't leave the house without, which at times drove my best friend nuts. The thing was, I didn't do it to impress the boys or get attention, I did it because it was the only way I felt like "me". I felt uncomfortable in my own skin if I didn't have it on...and yes as an adult I realize that is pretty ridiculous but hey, I was a kid. And if I'm being perfectly honest even as an adult I feel better when I'm made up and looking pretty.

That being said, I've been slacking. I have no problem leaving the house with a messy pony tail and no make up on. (well except lip gloss. I always have lip gloss). So much so that when I showed up at the school's silent auction last night one of the committee members went "whoa, look at you".

Um, yes, this is what I look like with hair and make up on...wearing something other then a t-shirt/sweatshirt. Clearly, it doesn't happen often. It's a downward spiral and I'm 1 set of dentures away from turning in to my mother who has been known to walk around in PJ pants, a cicra 1998 mickey mouse tshirt, crocs and no teeth.

My goal is to actually do my hair and make up 4x a week. Something other then a pony and lip gloss.

Blog Hop - Sibling Style

2011-02-17T13:46:00.000-05:00

I've been incredibly remiss in posting my weekly ADM blog hop posts, obviously, since my last post was Jan 31. I could give you all the crazy reason as to WHY I haven't posted...but I'll spare you because in reality, my life isn't so super busy and glamorous that I don't have time for blogging...I just tend to spend my free time doing things like playing of Facebook, watching Weeds or drinking wine. Or, on a really rockin' night, all three.

So, here we go with this weeks topic (Thank You Andrea):
Sibling relationships.
Yours, theirs, your life without siblings, your children's lives with siblings.
However you want to interpret it.

Let's start with me....after all, it is all about me. At least, that is what my brother always told me. I'm 4 years younger and I'm pretty sure I've blogged about my brother before. We are polar opposites. I'm the quiet, reserved rule follower. He...he is not. We'll just leave it at that.
We never got along, my parents used to leave us home together and I remember him beating me up during commercials while watching the Simpson's or whatever other show we stayed up "late" to watch. I don't know why I didn't just leave the room, but I didn't. I never really looked up to my brother the way my friends did theirs. I didn't want to be like him, if anything watching him made me want to run in the opposite direction.

We're adults, mostly, and while we don't see eye to eye on things we're still family. We've got each others back when it's important and he loves my kids. In the end, even if we're not close, that's good enough for me.

My boys though. Oh, my boys. Right now they go from screaming at each other to being best friends. I can honestly say though, Aiden loves his little brother...he didn't want to throw him out the window on day one like another big brother I know. He's also never intentionally given him small toys to possibly choke on. Not that I know *anyone* that would do a thing like that.

We debated for a long time on having another child. We had Aiden pretty early in life and timing wise it just never seemed like it was going to work out to have another. Of course now, I can't imagine not having Ian around. I hope they grow up to be good friends, I hope they spend weekends with each other when they're older and have kids that play together. Of course, if that doesn't happen, I hope at the end of the day they have each others backs, regardless of the differences they may have.

Bad advice gone right

2011-01-31T17:33:00.000-05:00

Everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING, especially once you decide to grow a human being inside your uterus. Some of it is well meaning and good, some of it is not. Like the time it was suggested that we give Aiden up for adoption. I mean, I'm all for adoption but it wasn't an option for us. Young or not, we lived together, we'd been dating for 3 years...it wasn't like we weren't planning on having a family at some point anyway. It just happened a bit earlier then we thought it would. That advice was well meaning, it was just really bad advice for us at the time.

This is my first post for the ADM blog hop. It's the advice you never thought you'd use, but did.

I had to really think hard about this because most of the time I either take whatever nugget of knowledge is passed my way and ignore it or use it. I couldn't think of a time that I ignored it, only to come back later and realize it made perfect sense...until I realized it's something so simple, something I use frequently and have to remind myself to just LISTEN. And it's advice I've given out, that I'm sure is ignored...until it's not.

So what is the gem of great importance?

"You'll just know"

When I was changing boyfriends the way some girls change shoes I kept hearing that I'd just know when he was the right one. Um, that was just plain crazy because clearly the male species SUCKS and I want nothing to do with them. Until that is, my best friend introduced me to the cute guy she worked with. And that was it, I knew. I knew he was different even though I didn't know exactly why. He was only a few years older then us, which on the maturity curve meant he was about a year younger...but he was different. He could carry on a conversation, an intelligent conversation. He was all wrong in a lot of ways, starting with the fact that my best friend had a crush on him...but from the first night, sitting on my bedroom floor while my best friend and his best friend were passed out...I knew.

5 years later when we were planning our wedding I knew I wanted an outdoor ceremony. That, there was no question about. What I wasn't so sure about was the dress. When we got engaged I had 17 months to plan. Of course that meant I needed to start dress shopping. Clearly it would take at least 6 months of trying on dresses, comparing train lengths and deciding between sleeveless, cap sleeves or halter. Of course, again, I started to hear "you'll just know". What? Are you crazy...this is a DRESS. This is THE dress. I'll just know, phu-leez. Except, when I put the dress on, it was THE dress. I convinced myself that couldn't be right, I mean I still have 15 very long months before the wedding. I couldn't have possibly already found the dress. I had the ~~crazy~~ nice lady at the bridal shop write it down on the list of ones I liked and I carried on. 3 days later I got a phone call saying the dress was on sale. I figured I should go try it on again, assuming that I was just crazy and now that I'm out of my "OMG I'M SHOPPING FOR MY WEDDING DRESS" bubble I'd have a bit more focus and could think with a clear head. Except when I put the dress on...it was THE dress. I bought it that day...and I knew it was the dress I wanted to get married in.
And, it's a damn good thing I did because not long after I bought that dress my engagement time went from being 15 months to FOUR. Yep! No, not b/c I was knocked up again...just because we didn't want to wait and my grandparents weren't doing well and well...we just knew. It was time and we didn't need to wait another year.

So sometimes, you really do just know...it's just hard to realize that when you are in the middle of it all.

So...what's been some of the best bad advice you've received? Feel free to link up!

A Happy House

2011-01-02T16:49:00.000-05:00

We had HH's family over yesterday. His aunt, uncle, cousin and 90+ year old grandmother. I love them just as much as my own family. They are the one thing in HH's life that has been a constant and it's probably because of them that he is who he is. They're just good people.

They're also very well off...they like nice things, his aunt is an absolutely AMAZING cook and one guess who she learned from? Yep, grandma. So, even though it's an informal evening of playing games and hanging out there is pressure. Pressure to make sure the house is presentable and that the food is good. We have 2 kids and it was New Years Day...so the presentable part was a bit of a challenge. Imagine my delight when she came in and exclaimed that she just loved my house and it was such a "happy house" while looking at the piles of random toys on the entertainment center. Cousin is now 17, and she looked at all of the new toys piled with the much loved toys with a bit of sadness. She missed those piles.

You know what? She's right. It is a happy house. There are toys in pretty much every nook and cranny, crumbs under the couch cushions and marker all over the table. We eat in the living room if we feel like it, we use finger paints on the kitchen floor, the bathtub always has toys in it that just never seem to dry and the boys almost always have marker on their hands. It's a happy house, it's a lived in house. The beds aren't made, the "throw" blankets are rarely folded and you will always find a stray matchbox car or lego stuck under a chair.

I enjoy that my house is comfortable and lived in. It doesn't bother me that not everything matches, I don't mind that you can see the toys...yet I spend so much time trying to "fix" it when company comes over. Why? Why is it that I think I need to turn in to someone I'm not. I'm not super organized, I don't care about matching everything right down to the pillows. It doesn't bother me that the kids managed to draw on the table with a sharpie. I have pictures scotch taped to the fridge and the walls. The boys don't have themes in their rooms, they have toys and books and beds. Do you think they care that the bedding doesn't match the wall? Nope. They don't care...so why should I?! They care that mommy and daddy will go play legos or help them play on the rocking horse.

I live in a house where you don't have to take yours shoes off to come in and have a seat...but if you want to, by all means feel free. And put your feet on my coffee table while you are at it.

New Years Eve

2010-12-31T20:48:00.000-05:00

I could do the typical NYE post about resolutions and what the past year has meant to me...but I don't feel like it.

I am on my couch, in my PJs and half watching The Last Airbender with 3 boys while HH plays DS. Yep, we are a rockin' good time on NYE. Really though, I wouldn't have it any other way. I made a feast of junk food, I have adult beverages and I'm surrounded by my favorite guys...life is good.

I should also do the usual post Christmas run down but I'm kind of a lazy blogger right now, and I don't feel like doing that either. Plus, all my pictures are on a different computer and I don't feel like switching right now. So, Christmas was good...everyone was happy, the boys have even more toys I have yet to find homes for. We did manage to avoid large pieces of plastic crap. We still have plenty of small pieces of plastic crap, but at least it takes up less space :)

Oh...and on the status of the crazy, it's good. I wasn't TOO bad this year. Although, I was right. The first thing Aiden noticed on Christmas morning was the BIG boxes and thought for sure they had to be his. He was perfectly happy with what Santa brought, but I was right about the boxes :)

Happy New Year all!

Merry Christmas, let the crazy begin

2010-12-08T08:54:00.000-05:00

Here's the deal, I love Christmas. I enjoy shopping, I LIKE buying gifts for people. And honestly, I have just as much fun watching people open what I bought them, as I do opening my own gifts. Actually, more fun because I hate opening gifts in front of people. It's weird and awkward and you are forced to say you love it while the other person is saying things like "isn't it adorable, if you don't like it, the receipt is int here, but don't you just LOVE it?!". Sure, I've always wanted a wooden boot candle holder. It's great. So yea, I'd much rather be the person on the other end...and damn it you'd better pretend to love it! :)

Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I just don't care anymore or maybe I've finally realized that crazy or not, HH isn't going anywhere...but a lot of the things I would silently think through, stress over and generally get all neurotic about, I've been sharing with him. He's so lucky.

Last night we discussed at length the fact that I'm worried because Ian will have 2 very large boxes under the tree and while Aiden over all has more gifts, nothing that comes in a big box. Yes people, these are the things I worry about! Look, I'm not all about everything having to be exactly equal. I know I spent more on Aiden and I know he has more gifts, I get that. Ian won't give a damn, he'll probably want to put the gift bags on his head and shove ribbon up his nose because he's special like that. Fact is, at almost 8, Aiden's toys are smaller and more expensive. All of that aside, as a kid, the first thing you see when you walk downstairs are the BIG boxes and you spend the whole time opening gifts wondering who the BIG boxes are for. So yes, this is what bothers me. I don't want him to feel slighted or disappointed in the least on Christmas morning. Even if it's just for a few minutes until he realizes that his legos and remote control car kick ass and are WAY cooler then his brother's Thomas blocks and plastic work bench. (although let's not kid ourselves, they'll still fight over all of it because that is what they do)
HH thinks I am totally insane. He thinks that I am stressing over this for no good reason. He's also concerned that I started in on my Christmas Crazy a little early this year and fears that it does not mean it will end early.
He's probably right since the whirl wind of cleaning because my parents are coming over on Christmas morning and ohmygodweneedtocleanthehouseandmakeeverythingperfect* (even though they have seen my house a thousand times when it's been a disaster)crazy has not even begun.

*It was really hard to type that without spaces. That's all.

Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
...you get the idea...

Oh, it's going to be an interesting 16+ years

2010-12-05T19:26:00.000-05:00

My boys are 5.5 year apart. That's a pretty decent gap and you'd THINK they wouldn't fight as much as siblings closer in age...but o.m.g. They are going to drive me to drink, more then I already do. (Because let's not kid ourselves, I love me some margaritas)

All.day.long I hear screaming from one and whining from the other and 90% of the time, it's the almost 8 year old that ends up in tears since Ian has decided he wants a role on True Blood as the youngest vampire.

Today they were being boys, which basically means full body contact wrestling in the middle of the living room. I'm not sure what happened but I turned just in time to see Ian attempt to whack Aiden up side the head with a toy. I told him no, he looked at me, looked at Aiden...looked back at me, smiled, and then threw something at Aiden's head. Aiden grabbed his eye and turned all "omg I'm dying" dramatic on me. Don't worry, he was fine. Ian then walked over to me.

"Mommy"
"Yes, Ian?"
"I'm out" (Time out for those of you that don't speak 2.5 year old)
"Time Out?"
*shakes head*
"Do you need to sit in time out?"
*shakes head and plops himself on the step with a grin*

I guess it's time to find a new punishment for hitting/biting b/c time outs? Yea, they are SO 6 months ago.

I see many trips to the ER in my future with this one.
Also? I see a few trips to the police station because I can just see the wheels turning in his pre-delinquent mind. "hmm, sure I'll get in trouble but damn will it be a good time"

It's easier to ask forgiveness then permission, isn't that how the saying goes?

Must.Stop.Shopping

2010-12-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

I'm not a big spender, I usually weigh my purchases and buy what we need. Well, except for my ~~crack~~ Starbucks addiction. I love finding good deals and saving money. Seriously, it's orgasmic. Especially when it's something that I normally don't find on sale.

And this my friends, is the reason my eldest child has SIX new lego sets put aside for Christmas. That doesn't even include the ones my mom picked up for him. Honestly, I'm just thrilled he's requesting something that actually gets played with and won't end up in the bottom of the toy box the way last years "must have" ~~pile of plastic crap~~ toy did.

I'm a big fan of Christmas but I'm not a big fan of buying every single "hot toy" out there. Aiden makes a list, he chooses 3 things from his list to ask Santa for. Usually one bigger item and 2 smaller things. This year it was a remote control car, Wimpy Kid do it yourself diary and legos. The problem with the legos, aside from randomly finding character sets that they clearance off they're rarely on sale. Except at Christmas. Oh, Christmas and the sale of Legos. I haven't paid full price yet, and damn those Amazon Lightning deals for sucking me in!

So, what are your kids asking for this year?
What's the best deal you've found?

I didn't do black friday but I was all over Cyber Monday. :) I am officially finished shopping for my kids, I need 1-2 small things for my parents, a GC for my brother and his girlfriend and that's it. I'm D.O.N.E DONE. On December 3rd.
If you hear that I'm shopping, slap me or something. I really do need to stop, damn those sales...and that extra 15% off the Kohl's sales this weekend. Ugh. Going to be the death of me!

Family Dynamics

2010-11-27T22:28:00.001-05:00

For whatever reason there is a lot that isn't talked about on my mom's side of the family. I think this is probably where a lot of my "bottle it up until I explode" issues come from. They just aren't big communicators and they like to sweep everything under the rug. Don't talk about it and it doesn't exist!

With my grandma's funeral service last weekend the WHOLE family was together. My aunts, uncle, distant relatives and friends of my mom's that I hadn't seen in ages.

It was interesting, to say the least.

Through this, I started talking with my cousin. We're 10 years part so it's not like we really grew up together. We shared grandparents but well, her story was a bit more complicated then mine. Her parents split up when she was young...and her biological father was my mom's brother...except, well, he's now a woman. Yep. Imagine how well that went over 35 years ago. So, my "uncle" was never spoken about by the time I was born. I didn't even know there was another sibling. I know I had this cousin but with so many cousins and distant family on my dad's side of the family, I never questioned it. I didn't figure it all out until I was a teen. She's now back in our lives, she lives with my aunt and my grandparents (well, my grandpa now). She's...um, well, she's different. Not someone I could deal with on a daily basis, but she's family. So you know, I have to bite my tongue and smile and keep quiet...b/c that is what we do.

My cousin and I had some time to really sit down and talk...and share memories...and while some were very similar, others were very different. Needless to say, she has her own set of issues...as we all do...but I think she may win the prize.

Regardless, I'm hoping that we can keep in better touch and talk more. I'm curious about a lot of things and it seems we can fill in a lot of blanks for each other. I have no idea why there are so many secrets, so much that isn't talked about...but man does it help explain so much about my own family and what makes them tick.

Thank goodness for my kids being as crazy as they are, they were a great distraction for everyone last weekend! Talk about a reminder that life goes on.

Did I tell you about my kick ass birthday?

2010-11-12T21:22:00.001-05:00

I don't think I did!

Okay, so my actual birthday was a bit emotional. I cried a lot, I was irritated and cranky and well...just call me a drama ~~whore~~ queen. It wasn't all about my actual birthday, it was just a lot of things all at once and well, I needed a good cry.

Saturday I woke up feeling a ton better.

Saturday night my fabulous husband and amazing friends surprised me. Hubby and I were supposed to be going out for drinks and dessert after a super yummy dinner at home (that I didn't have to cook!). We pulled in to a local bar which I thought was a bit odd since we were supposed to be headed to a restaurant, but I really didn't think too much of it. Just figured he decided to go there since the drinks are cheap and they have pool tables. All of my friends had done a pretty good job of making themselves unavailable....but surprise, there they were.

So yea, they pretty much rock. I drank way too much and got to hang out with some of the best people I know. I cried again, happy tears. I am a lucky lucky girl, for real.
Took a few humorous walks down memory lane.
Did a few shots.
Was showered with gift certificates for ~~crack~~ Starbucks and then shocked in to tears again with this:

There is another "egg" charm that is adorable, but I can't find a good picture of it. Regardless, I'm still...just...wow...speechless.
Was still in bed before 2am.
Had breakfast made for me in the morning while I lounged around and recovered.
30 isn't so bad after all...but damn does it take longer to recover!

30 RAK: Week 1 + 3

2010-11-08T12:49:00.014-05:00

11/1: Gave the table next to us my coupon for a free brownie sundae. The 2 year old appreciated it the most, I think :)

11/2: Paid for the car behind me at Starbucks. I hope it started a chain reaction.

11/3: Left a reusable bag for the car next to me at the grocery store.

11/4: Read and left blog comments for all the new posts on my blog roll, along with some blogs that I stalk and rarely comment on.

11/5: I need to make this one up, it was a pretty rough day and honestly, I didn't do a damn thing all.day.long. unless you count curling up on the couch watching Private Practice and crying. Oh, and reading the Little People Farm pop-up book 140000 times.

11/6: Let the mall kiosks people give me their speeches, and smile and didn't try to run away. Took a picture of a family at Build A Bear. The little boy was 1 and just so cute, even if it took a few tries for him to look at me instead of Daddy!

11/7: I made a donation to Voices Against Brain Cancer in honor of my uncle.

**My original post was scheduled for 1/8 but for some reason it never posted. So, here are 3 more days! :)

11/8: Took a treat to the board meeting, granted most of them didn't get eaten but I let one of the moms take the left overs home.

11/9: Took steak and potatoes to my dad who has been a bachelor for the past 3 weeks with my mom in FL. I also stayed at his house all.day.long to wait for his tv to be delivered.

11/10: Sent a check to donate 2 signs that are being put in for a family in my home town who has a little boy battling cancer right now. It's a small town and he goes to school with a few of my friends kids. Sad sad sad :(

What have you done lately? Any ideas for me? So far, I am LOVING this.

High School Randomness

2010-11-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

I have a ton of people from HS on my facebook, I'm still friends with the same group of girls I've known since 7th grade, so obviously they're on there. There are a few people I've come across that I really was curious as to how they were doing...but for the most part, I just felt bad denying their request. I've often considered weeding out the ones I haven't talked to since graduation and have had on my FB and yet have had zero contact with. It seems silly but I don't, I leave them there because in true HS fashion I'm worried of what they'll think. I'm worried I'll hurt their feelings.
So tonight a girl that I graduated with sends me an IM to say Happy Birthday. We weren't close friends back then, we had a few classes together and she was always kind of quiet but super nice to everyone. We chatted a bit, turns out she lives out of state, was drunk and missing home. She told me that she remember me as being down to earth, classy and smart.

Um, I realize most of you didn't know me in HS but classy and smart were not two words I would use to describe me. I wasn't a heathen, but I wasn't exactly "classy". As for smart, eh, I got by.
I guess it's funny to me because, well, you just don't see yourself the way other people see you...no matter how old you are. And no matter how long you've been out of HS, it's nice to hear that people thought GOOD things about you, since chances are you didn't always feel good about yourself.
So, the next time a random person from HS pops up in your news feed, maybe send a kind word or two. Sometimes that's all it takes. (This coming from the girl that still hides in the cereal aisle if she sees someone at the grocery store because I A. look like hell and B. am worried they won't remember me. Yep, that's me)

Huh

2010-11-05T17:03:00.000-04:00

The other night Hubby was talking to Aiden and asked what he wanted to get me for my birthday. He thought about it and wasn't sure, so Hubby suggested he really think about what I would like.

Aiden: Well, she likes food, maybe we could get her a piece of food.

Hmmmm.

Aiden: Or, she does a lot of dishes, we could get her a cup.

Again, hmmmm....

Hubby just left to take him shopping, I'm a bit concerned with what they will come home with.

It's killing me

2010-11-03T13:22:00.000-04:00

Apparently I am a control freak.

Stop laughing at the fact that I am just now realizing this.

Seriously, stop.

When Hubby asked what I wanted for my birthday I had just spent weeks trying to figure out something fun yet inexpensive for us to do on our anniversary. I was so over it. I told him that I didn't know, I wanted to do something but I didn't want to plan it. I was over the planning and the figuring out baby sitters and money and all of it.

A few weeks ago I sent him an email and suggested a new lens for the camera but after doing some research realized that we really need to save up and spend a good chunk of cash on one and it wasn't in the budget right now. I didn't give him any other ideas.
Monday evening he walks in and hands me a folded up Halloween tablecloth. I was making dinner and dealing with the kids and I just stared at him like he had two heads and told him to just put it in the box with the other stuff. He just kept handing me the stupid thing, so I took it and wrapped in the middle was this:

I think maybe he was tired of sharing his...but I don't care, YAY!

Now, on to the part that is killing me. He asked me today if I'd like to go to dinner on Saturday. I reminded him that our sitter is out of town and that we are supposed to be on a spending strike.

He says he will find a sitter.

Um, what? I'm not sure he has ever called a sitter in the almost 8 years since Aiden was born. For real. Fact is, it's kind of killing me not to plan this. I always plan date night. I ask where he wants to go or what he feels like doing...but I call the sitter (my mama), I pack the boys up, I drop them off...I set the time and if we need reservations or tickets, I handle them. It is taking every ounce of willpower I have not to text him and ask who he's going to ask and what time he's planning on going and all the other little things that go in to attempting a dinner out sans children.

It's all just so complicated!

30 Thirty

2010-11-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

It's November 1st, which means in a few short days I'll be turning 30.
Yikes.
I'm not sure WHY this is such an issue for me, but it is.

My friend Natalie posted about Robyn and how she celebrated her 38th Birthday. I loved this idea.

Of course, I don't have any illusions about being able to do that in one day. So, starting today...for the 30 days of November...I'm going to complete one totally Random Act of Stacy each day! :)

No, I won't be posting daily about it...you should know better then that....but I will update.

Wish me luck!!

I clearly have Trick or Treat issues

2010-10-31T11:09:00.000-04:00

I don't normally hand out candy for Halloween, we go to my parents house and my mom hands it out while Hubby and I take the kids around. This year I went to help my cousin out while her sister and brother in law took their kids. (our ToT is tonight)

I was amazed at some of the RUDE kids.

And here are my issues...or as I like to call them:
The Rules of Halloween
that everyone should abide by because I said so.

1. You must wear a costume to get candy. I will give you a single tootsie roll if you are not in costume. I don't care how old you are, you can be 25 and if you are in costume, I will give you candy. If you are 14 and are too lazy to throw a mask on or some face paint? Too bad.

2. You do not drive to houses. Ever. If you want to trick or treat, you walk. I don't care where you live or how cold it is. If you can't walk it, you don't go. So help me if my kids ever ask me to drive their asses around.

3. Trick or Treat and Thank You. Yes, I will be the bitch that makes you say Trick or Treat before I give you candy...unless you are tiny and cute...in which case you will probably get extras.

4. If you trick or treat, you give candy. I may let this one go if you really can't afford to hand out candy but don't want to deprive your child of Halloween. I'm not totally unreasonable.

5. When given candy, you do not request something else. (oh, I really wanted a kit kat. I don't care, take your butterfinger and move on)

6. If you leave your light on but aren't home, you are an asshole. Please check your trick or treat schedule and be sure to turn outside lights off if you aren't participating. Do not make me walk my 2 year old up your long ass drive way only to realize there is no candy. Annoying.

The End
Happy Halloween!! It's going to be a cold one here, but it's all good. I love how excited the kids get for Trick or Treat! Despite my rules, it really is one of my favorite holidays. I just don't think it gives kids or adults a free pass on forgetting manners and common courtesy (and really, common sense).

I understand remembering the good

2010-10-27T22:20:00.000-04:00

What I don't understand is why death makes people want to rewrite history.

My grandmother passed away last night. It's sad, I'm not denying that. She was in her 80's and had some pretty serious health issues. Recently she caught a virus that they simply couldn't fight off.

I loved my grandma, I did. I spent many weekends with her as a child, I was thrilled when she and my grandpa surprised me on my wedding day. They are my grandparents and I love them.

That being sad, my grandmother was not the nicest person. She was funny and sarcastic but she was also down right cruel and hurtful. The older I get, the more I try to understand what makes me the way I am (the good and the bad) more and more goes back to my mom, and with that comes understanding what made her the way she is. Aside from some pretty tragic events in her childhood, a lot of it comes down to the way my grandma has treated her.

Now, I'm not going to speak ill of the dead...but I'm not going to be all rainbows and sunshine about her either. I have a lot of really fond memories of her. She taught me to play Rummy, she used to cut HUGE pieces of watermelon for me and we'd sit in her living room and eat while we played. She let me stay up late to watch movies. In the one bedroom of their house they had at least 10 layers of paint, you could see all the many colors in places where it had chipped. There are a lot of very good memories...but why is it that when someone passes, those people who know better want to suddenly make everyone believe that they were some kind of saint? She wasn't, and I don't think she'd want people to rewrite history to turn her in to one. I'm not saying now is the time to air all of our dirty laundry...but let's at least keep it real. Remember her for the good things that really were good and let go of the rest. She's at peace now, probably yelling at some poor kid for not wearing an undershirt and slippers and stocking up on Vernors.

Oh, and as a side note. I was 30 seconds from finding out that she passed away via Facebook. So, for anyone reading this, if you have news (good or bad) do not post all over Facebook at 4am before you've notified the important people in your life (immediate family in this case). It's wrong. Facebook status updates are a great way to get info to a lot of people at once...but there is a thing called tact...and consideration of others feelings. Luckily, my dad called to tell me the news just as I was sitting down to log in....I'm not sure the rest of the family was so lucky. :/

My boys

2010-10-26T12:39:00.000-04:00

Have I mentioned that I LOVE October?? I am a total Summer girl at heart but being that I live in OH, Summer just doesn't last all that long. Luckily...Summer goes in to Fall and I adore Fall. I like the smell in the air, pumpkins, sweaters, hot apple cider and Halloween. I wish I could live in a constant rotation of Summer and Fall all year long.

We've been crazy busy this month, I think we've had stuff on the calendar every weekend. I know for some people that is completely normal, but not for us. We're home bodies...and I don't like to cram one thing after another in to our weekends. I want time to curl up on the couch and watch a movie or take a nap...or just sit around and not bother changing out of our PJs. For us, that's a good weekend!
Of course, that is exactly what I am doing today...but by default. I have a sickly wee man, so we're hanging on the couch watching Dora (yes, while I blog...a girl can only handle so much Dora)

I'm going to be that mom that shows you all of the adorable pictures of my kids. 1. Because, um, they're cute and 2. Because I'm pretty proud of myself for some of these shots. I'm not professional (and really, I don't want to be) but I do like that I can take pictures of my kids that don't look like crap. Poor Aiden, he really got screwed in the picture department. I know it's usually the second child that this happens with...but not in this case. Oh well, Ian gets his fair share of neglect. Like the fact that he doesn't get the cool toys because we already have them...so he ends up with books and clothes. Oh well, sorry kid, play with your brothers toys.

Okay, here ya go: (and only a couple of my faves, I swear.)
Ian:

Aiden (and OMG, he is starting to look so OLD)

Get the swag

2010-10-18T14:20:00.000-04:00

I'm not normally all about these internet schemes. I don't have time for all that nonsense, but this one actually pays off.

Here's the deal. Today is referral day at Swag Bucks. What does that mean? It means if you sign up, we both earn bucks!

CLICK HERE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

What the hell are swag bucks? Virtual dollars you can turn in to gift cards (or other junk, but really, it's only worth it for the gift cards)

Does it work? Yep, it does. Granted, I don't search stuff I actually want answers for...that would be cheating on google, and that's just wrong. What I do is just type in random crap...or instead of going directly to a website, I pop over to swagbucks, type in the website and go from there.
If you search and don't hit, change a term in your search and try it again. 80% of the time, I hit doing that. Right now I have 1100 swag bucks. I have $70 in $5 Amazon gift cards just waiting to be used for Christmas.

Okay, don't get TOO excited. That's not normal. I had to do some shopping for work and checked out through the shop/earn tab. You earn 2 SB for every $1. It adds up...but only do this if the store isn't offered through Ebates. You should ALWAYS check out via Ebates when shopping online. You're ordering anyway, may as well get cash back. Don't have an Ebates account? Click Here.
I've earned $11 through Ebates but I rarely (as in almost never) shop online.

Okay, that's my infomercial for the day. Enjoy.

Wake up call

2010-10-16T21:04:00.000-04:00

I'm over weight.
My cholesterol is high. Well, not high...but borderline
I had an abnormal pap and have to go back on Nov 1st to talk to my dr.
I finally had to admit to my husband that I can't fit in to the majority of my clothes, which is why they've just been sitting in piles on top of my dresser.
I turn 30 in 20 days.
I have no physical reason for the way I feel. Thyroid is normal, no anemia, sugar is good. In all honesty I was hoping my bloodwork would show something was wrong with me that I could fix...and then the rest would be fixed. I realize that's not the way it works, but it's what I was hoping for. So, in addition to discussing what we're going to do for this abnormal pap on Nov 1st, I'll also be discussing what I can do to be a happier more balanced me.

I'm accepting the fact that I can't do this on my own. I owe it to my husband and my kids to be the best me possible and right now, I need help to do that.

I also need help getting my ass in gear and working out. Do they make a pill that can do that? literally kick my ass out of bed to go to the gym...and slap my hand when I reach for a kit kat? Damn that Halloween candy just taunting me!!

Best comment of the weekend

2010-10-11T09:50:00.002-04:00

We went out of town for our anniversary. Maybe I'll get around to a full review, some day....but for now, I leave you with the following conversation that happened while I was marveling at home much space we had in a King bed. (we have a queen at home)

M: wow, I feel like I'm on a different continent over here.

HH: Well if I wasn't so tired, I'd come over there and discover America.

M: Really hun, REALLY?!

HH: What? Lame?

M: It's a good thing you already have me. I'm so putting this on the blog.

HH: No you won't, you won't even remember what was said.

hahahaha, sorry hun, you should know better!

Guilt

2010-09-28T19:56:00.000-04:00

HH tells me I'd make a great Catholic. I have guilt issues.
Basically, I feel guilty about pretty much everything, all the time.
House is a mess? I feel guilty.
Spend all day cleaning? I feel guilty because I should be working...or doing something with the kids.
Working? Oh yea, guilt. Should be doing something else.
If something doesn't get done, if I don't cook dinner, if I forget a birthday...I feel guilty. The problem is that with the guilt is a feeling of being completely and totally overwhelmed by everything.
It also means when I do accomplish something, if it's not perfect, I get really upset. If I make a new recipe and HH doens't like it...I take it personally.
I HATE this...because I know this is where it started with me and I do NOT want my boys to end up feeling this way. If I didn't LOVE something my mom did/bought me, she'd feel bad. She'd blame herself...and thus, no matter what it was, I always pretended to love it. I could never really be open with her because her feelings were hurt so easily. I'm hoping that knowing this, will help me avoid creating the same cycle with my boys. I want them to feel like they can tell me what they are thinking, I want them to feel comfortable in their own opinions and not feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me for fear that I'll breakdown.

I want to be better, I want to let go of the guilt and just accept that life isn't perfect. Sometimes the house will be messy, the kids will act out in public, work will be put off to do something fun and sometimes I'll have to tell the boys no so that I can get something else accomplished.

In my head, I know all of this...I just need to figure out the best way to let go. It's hard to break old habits.

We really should learn to check the stairs

2010-09-27T20:59:00.001-04:00

M: Go brush your teeth, it's bed time.

A: but I'm playing my game

M: I don't care, don't make me get up

A: *sigh* ugh.

M: Kid, you'd better get up there and brush your teeth

A: FINE! but you need to come up with me and tuck me in.

M: Just go upstairs, I'll tuck you in when you finish brushing

A: UGH! I don't want to have to come back down

M: *deep breath* GO!

A: *stomping up the stairs*

HH: You're such a mean mommy

M: Yep, just sign me up for mommy dearest

HH: Just wait until he's 16 and calling you a bitch

M: I'll still..

A: DADDY! What the...I heard that!

HH: *sigh* Go upstairs!!

M: Thanks daddy

HH: Well I didn't know he was there

M: As I was saying, I will STILL wash his mouth out with soap!

Yep...we really need to start checking the stairs.

Weekend Randomness

2010-09-19T20:58:00.000-04:00

What a weekend!!

Saturday morning I got up and took the boys to a Dr Seuss storytime at Borders. It was a really cute way to kill an hour with the kids. They read a story, decorated bookmarks, handed out coloring pages and then gave all the kids small milkshakes (cake batter flavored...fabulous!). Both boys had fun, then we checked out the clearance books, mommy got coffee and we headed home for naptime.

That evening we had a BBQ to go to, it was absolutely beautiful out and the kids had a blast. It was at this BBQ that I was introduced to Caribou Lou. Have you heard of this? It's a deceptively delicious beverage consisting of 151, Malibu and Pineapple juice. I am a sucker for malibu and this tastes like malibu and pineapple...but oh my dear lord, that 151 knocked me on my ass!! I didn't drink at the BBQ b/c I was meeting the girls out for drinks after. My wonderful husband was nice enough to drop me off while he went home and put the kids to bed. (yea, he's a keeper)

I started the evening off with my drink of choice, a blue margarita. My friend Karol makes fabulous blue margaritas and I can't go visit her when she's behind the bar without having one. Once the other girls showed up, I decided to have her make us some Caribou Lou's.

2.5 drinks later...(and let's not forget the margarita) it was time to head home. Luckily I had a DD and while I was fine the whole way home, got in the door and checked my FB/email, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes...I was still feeling pretty good. Of course I also decided to jump my husband. It wasn't until after the big O, that the 151 decided to sneak up on me and knock my on my ass, literally. So while hubby was waiting for his grand finale, I was on the bathroom floor wishing I would just get sick already....but, I didn't. He eventually realized it so wasn't happening for him and went to sleep. I, being the oh so klassy girl that I am, decided the cool tile floor on the bathroom felt nice...and once my head stopped spinning I passed out right there, with a my head in the hall and a towel for a pillow. Good thing that kids didn't wake up!

I was in some pain today, I so didn't feel like doing anything but since hubby would be watching football it was either leave the house or deal with 2 kids while wishing I could sleep. I decided it would be a good day to take Ian to his first movie. I took Grandma for backup.
We saw Despicable Me. It was cute...and Ian did really well. He got antsy towards the end and I had to go let him run the halls a bit, but considering it was nap time...I'd say it was a win. Unlike me partying like a rockstar...FAIL.

Over all, it was a great weekend!

That time my husband was hanging out with hookers

2010-09-13T20:21:00.000-04:00

Friday night my husband was hanging out with hookers. Yep, hookers. Honest to goodness ladies of the night. I'm not sure if there was a red light involved, but possibly. There was some screaming, one girl getting put in to a cab, a guy running a poker game where he thought he would have a bunch of guys in suits and girls serving drinks (and other services) while he took a cut of everything.
It resulted in one pissed off guy because apparently the girl didn't get the memo on what services a hooker was supposed to supply (and I ain't talkin' no kissing on the lips either), a bunch of liquored up cable techs and the "house" paying people to just shut the fuck up.

Oh yea, only around here.

Now rest assured, my darling husband was just hanging out watching all of the drama unfold while eating some chicken and drinking a beer (or 5). He just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time for all of this. I was at home sleeping, although I did get woken up by the screaming when they had to put the first girl in a cab. I just figured it was another domestic dispute. For some reason people around here like to go out in to the middle of the road to fight, making sure to stand at least 2 driveways apart, so that everyone on the street can hear them.

Have I mentioned that I need to move?

In other news...things I didn't think I'd have to say.

"Aiden, please put your brothers balls away"
"Keep your hands on your own slinkies!"
"Stop dippin' in our conversation"

Wish I had the rack to go with the weight

2010-09-07T09:41:00.000-04:00

I've been putting off the whole diet and exercise thing for WAY too long.

I NEED to get my ass in gear.

I occurred to me yesterday though, that I could be happy at the size I am now if I had the rack to go with it. Seriously. While the girls have grown, they're not nearly proportional enough to my tummy (tummy, that makes it sound so cute.) and thighs. It makes it really difficult to find clothes that fit right. If it fits up top, it's too tight around my middle and vice versa. But rather then get a boob job to fix the girls, I guess I'll have to just start trying to deflate the inflatable tube that resides around my middle section.

Right after I finish my white mocha that is.

The kinky tooth fairy

2010-09-01T21:46:00.000-04:00

First of all. My oldest son is 7, his name is Aiden. My younger son is 2, his name is Ian. There, now it's out there for all of the internets :)

On the way to school the other day Aiden decides to start questioning the Tooth Fairy. Some of the kids at school told him it's really just your mom and dad that take your teeth and leave you money. Apparently 2 of the kids in his class found their teeth in their parents room. Can you imagine? I mean, before the lightbulb goes on as to WHY they have a ziplock bag full of tiny teeth....can you imagine trying to figure out what in the hell your parent are doing with...TEETH!? Anyway, I ask him what he thinks and at first he agrees with the kids at school but then he remembers that the tooth fairy left him money and took his most recent tooth when nobody was even home. You know, b/c that dumb fairy "was sick" the night before and didn't make it. So, he's still on the fence.

Why didn't I just tell him the truth? Well, here's the thing for those of you with small children that don't yet question the ways of the universe and everything else in between. They like to ask the hard questions while you are driving...and usually before you've had your coffee. This way, they catch you off guard while you are rocking out to a little Daughtry and trying to wake up. They don't have to look you in the eye either, major plus when they are confessing to something they think they'll get in trouble for. Problem is? They never ask when hubby and I are both in the car...just me, and just me when I am barely functional. So, we sort of left the topic of the tooth fairy unresolved.

Fast forward to this evening.
Hubby is in the living room talking to the U-Verse guy (Buh Bye TWC!) and Aiden comes downstairs and says, not very quietly "Mommy, why do you have handcuffs in your room?" I look to see if the guy noticed, but they seem pretty engrossed in their conversation so I try to quietly ask Aiden what he is talking about. He proceeds to tell me that he found handcuffs in our room "you know, in that drawer by your bed". And asks again, not catching the hint that I am using a very quiet tone and trying to move to another room, "Mommy, why are there handcuffs in your room?!"
At this point, I'm pretty sure the technical conversation stopped and the U-Verse guy was politely trying to ignore us. I eventually told Aiden to just go upstairs and play legos.

It turns out, he wasn't in "that drawer", he was in our cedar chest...and he did find handcuffs, actual metal ones that I think we left behind at a halloween party at some point. Or maybe I bought them as a gift for Jared many many childless moons ago. I'm not really sure...not that we have other handcuffs or anything that he could have stumbled upon.

At any rate, I am fairly certain that he was looking for teeth...and now he will probably have a whole other set of questions for me on the drive to school tomorrow. Maybe I should get coffee before instead of after...

Happy Family Outing

2010-08-28T17:55:00.000-04:00

We decided to go to an art festival this morning. A friend of ours had a booth and it wasn't far so we thought it would be a nice way to walk around, support the local art scene and spend some qt with the fam.

Yea.

We have a 2 year old.

The morning went something like this:

M: Let's get dressed
T2: Ahhhh blah blah blah you are evil ahhhh. (in coherent screams)

20 minutes later...dressed.

We arrive at the art fair, our happy little family, and instantly the 2 year old wants to run in to the pond and has to be carried away screaming. The 7 year old? Yea, he wants food and to find his friends.
We walk around the circle, attempting to appreciate quilts, jewelry, pottery...all the while I am just trying to keep the 2 year old from breaking something or swiping something off the tables. We find the kids tent with the fake snow, of course the kids don't want to leave...and after 20 minutes, I'm the mean mommy and I make them...but no worries, I bribe them with lemonade.
Then we have the melt down over wanting to touch the $400 paintings with the dogs and the tigers on them. Screaming, kicking...strange women giving Jared tips on how to hold him so that you can't feel the kicks. The fun never ends on our happy family outing. 7 year old pouting over the fake snow and wanting to go to the play ground.

Oh yes...this is exactly how I envisioned our afternoon of strolling through the park and looking at art going. Yep.

You'd think I would know better.
2 year olds should only be taken out in public when absolutely necessary....and then, only with out toddlers so that yours isn't the only kid screaming incoherently at you and kicking. Oh, and let's not forget laying in the middle of the walkway and turning to jello with lots of parents who were smart enough to come without their children walking by and "awwwing" or giving us looks of "oh yea, been there".

I came home and took a nap. Did I mention that I skipped coffee this morning??!!

Oh yea, and, I'm back

2010-08-03T20:37:00.001-04:00

I know, I've been such a blog slacker. Work is busy right now since we're in full wedding season swing...so if I'm on the computer I'm usually working or checking my facebook. Plus, me home with 2 kids = losing my mind piece by piece. I love them, but oh my dear lord, all.day.long with the don't touch your brother, leave his toys alone, no! he had that first, don't lick his leg. What? You don't have to tell your children to stop licking each other? Come on, I'll bet you do...

Anyway, I've missed my bloggy friends. I do stop over and read most of my regulars, but I haven't been commenting as often as I normally would. Hopefully once school is back in session I'll be better at keeping up. I am going to attempt some kind of real schedule...with actual work hours, play hours, housework hours...etc. While working from home seems like the perfect situation, I constantly feel guilty. If I'm doing work, I think I should be cleaning or playing with the kids...and vice versa. So, I figure if I have designated times for everything, no guilt. All in a perfect world, right?! Talk to me in September and I'll let you know how it's going.

The funk is gone, and no not just because I showered (which, I did). I still have my moments but I'm better at managing them. I know I have issues that are hormone related...but I'm hoping in the next few months when HH gets the old snip snip, I'll be a bit more sane. Not totally sane, there is no hope of that...but I'm okay with that. I like keeping people on their toes.

He may not talk, but he's no dummy!

2010-08-02T20:36:00.000-04:00

Do you see this adorable face?

He's 2 and he doesn't talk.
Well, he doesn't talk much. He has few words but he pretty much just screams. If you ask him to use words, he just walks away...and then he'll just figure out a way to get what he wants on his own.
Yesterday he wanted new batteries in this dancing Brobee, when we weren't jumping to his screams he went over to HH's desk, found a screw driver and attempted to fix it himself.

Tonight? He wanted gogurt, he got it out of the fridge and waved it at me. I put it back. Later, after dinner, I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and the little bugger had climbed up on my desk, got the scissors and opened the fridge to get the gogurt. He'd seen me use them to open our frozen gogurts, so apparently he figured if I wasn't going to help him, he'd do it himself.

Ah, 2 is so much fun.

On a side note, check out these handsome boys:

And now let's hear it...AWE...

Slipping and sliding

2010-07-09T09:57:00.000-04:00

HH commented the other night that I've been rather crabby lately and that I seem to be annoyed by him all the time. I think all the time is a bit extreme, but I am crabby, a lot.

I feel myself slipping, I know it's happening, and yet, I can't stop it.

I WANT to stop it, I don't like snapping at my kids, I don't like looking at my husband and having the urge to throw something at him for no good reason. My kids are amazing little boys and my husband is a wonderful man. Hell, he puts up with me which pretty much makes him a saint in my book.

The thing is, I don't have a lot to be unhappy about. My life is NOT that stressful, it's not that complicated...and yet I find things to get pissy about. I take everything personally, I cry over the littlest thing and I feel that urge to throw things.

Last night I actually ordered my husband to NOT do the dishes. Not even kidding. I was melting because it's a freaking sauna in my house. I told him the baby was in bed and the other one had 10 minutes to finish his show. I was going upstairs to hide in the a/c. He said 'fine, I'll deal with the kitchen'. At that point, normal people would have said 'fine, I cooked dinner, you do that' but oh no, not me. Instead I snapped and told him I would do it because now I feel bad that I was going to go relax. It went on from there until I basically made him promise not to touch the dishes. Seriously people, what is wrong with me?!

Regardless, if I'm quiet, I'm sorry. I just don't have a lot of positive things to say lately. If you know me in real life and I'm acting like a bitch, I'm sorry. I'm usually pretty good at the whole fake it until you make it...but it's getting harder and I'm snapping more then usual.

Now you find out just how spoiled I am

2010-06-23T20:58:00.000-04:00

My mom has been visiting ~~the crazy people~~ my family in FL. She left last Tuesday and won't be home until next Tuesday. This is no vacation, trust me. I wasn't at all happy about her going down there but she had to do what felt right...and she'd feel way too guilty if she stayed home. So, off she went.

What does this have to do with me? That leaves me with 2 kids all day, everyday. You see, usually once a week I could drop one or both of them off and go run errands, meet a friend for lunch, do work or just sit at home and dick around on the computer doing nothing for a few hours. It was grand. I'd take her a McD's Frappe (YUM btw) and she'd be a happy camper. She loves those boys, hanging out with them makes her happy...getting a break makes me happy.
So, we're on day 8 and I'm going a bit nuts. Okay sure, I spent Friday and Saturday night drinking it up and hanging out with friends while HH was home with the kids...but so what?

Yea yea, like I said, now you find out just how spoiled I am.

My mommy needs to come home so I can have an afternoon of productivity. Not that I don't enjoy playing 14 games of Uno and rebuilding the Thomas track 150000 times a day while trying to clean, do laundry, figure out dinner...and oh yea, work...but you know, it would be nice if a simple task wouldn't take 3 hours to complete.

::points finger at self:: spoiled rotten, right here.

I went to a wedding

2010-06-21T22:37:00.000-04:00

Do you have friends that you don't talk to often and see even less...yet when you get together it's like you talk every day? Those are my Canadian girls. I love these girls. They're just GOOD people, ya know? Their families are awesome, and I know if I needed something they'd be there to help me out however they could. 6 years ago they made the drive down to come to MY wedding and it's something that meant a lot to me. So, when the one we call Moo decided to go and get herself hitched it was only natural that my BFF and I made our reservations and hopped in the car for a road trip. Kids and hubby left to fend for themselves!

First, let me give a quick trip review. We used priceline to book our hotel. It was cheap, we weren't expectly luxury, just a bed to sleep on. When we checked in to America's Best Value Inn (yes, on the Canadian side) we were first shocked at how far it was from the actual Falls. Not a huge deal for us since we know the area and weren't there for the tourist stuff, but calling this Niagara Falls was a bit of a stretch! Then, the lady with the broken arm at the desk wanted to charge us an additional $15 per night in order for us to have 2 beds instead of 1. Yep. My BFF hasn't learned that you catch more flies with honey...but I did sweet talk in her to $10/night extra. Still, annoying. I won't be staying there again...those beds, definitely NOT worth the extra cash.

We started the day with an afternoon ceremony but before we left, I had to play on the fun swings outside our room.

Notice the shoes? I make every excuse possible to wear those shoes.

Here is our signature picture

And this is what happens when I am left unattended.

And one more because I can't end this post without showing you how absolutely beautiful the bride and groom are! And well, the rest of us are pretty cute too :)

Warning

2010-06-21T10:05:00.000-04:00

In the very near future, you will see updates to this blog.

Most of these updates will contain far too many pictures.

I'm an attention whore, I've been busy and I have the pictures to prove it.

So, just an FYI. I have a lot of scheduled posts up my sleeve and the majority involved: kids, goofiness, friends, more kids...and possibly some drunken ridiculous-ness.

You're welcome.

Potty Training

2010-06-11T09:00:00.001-04:00

The eldest child? He didn't train until he was 3ish, I don't know the exact age. He was trained by the time we moved, and he was 3.5 then. He didn't poop in that damn toilet for what seemed like forever. Seriously getting the kid to shit in the toilet and NOT in his underwear was the biggest pain in the ass, ever.

For this reason, I don't care if his brother stays in diapers until Kindergarten. Seriously. I.DO.NOT.CARE. Sure, diapers are expensive and I hate the fact that I have to bust out WWF moves to get him to to lay down and let me change him...but I don't want to deal with trips to the bathroom or even worse, buying one of those nasty ass potty chairs. ::shudders::

I'm in no rush...I'm in no rush to put him in a big boy bed either. I don't care if he throws his food on the floor and only uses utensils 1/2 the time.
Ya know what else? He doesn't drink out of a regular cup...and I.DO.NOT.CARE. Chances are pretty good, he won't go to college drinking out of a sippy cup and wearing a pull up (although, for some of those college nights both may come in handy...)

Playground Etiquette

2010-06-10T15:59:00.000-04:00

I realize that the playground is a kids place to run and play and be crazy. I'm fine with that...whatever.

It's nice the T1 is old enough to run around on his own, especially since I spend the whole time chasing the crazy younger brother.

Today we hit the park with my younger cousins, 5, 8 and 10. The boys were playing and being boys...climbing, jumping...whatever. They were watching out for the younger kids and for the most part behaving.

The crazy monkey? Yea, he was being his typical ornery self and trying to climb in to places mommy would surely have to go get him...and mommy is not made for playground equipment. Atleast, my ass is not made for playground equipment. Just ask the twisty slide I shoved myself down this afternoon.

There is one section that you climb up and the only way down is to slide down the pole or go across monkey bars. I kept distracting T2 from going up there...at one point he went over to the stairs and this ~~bratty little monster~~ 3-4 year old comes over and PUSHES MY BABY DOWN, and then tells him he's not allowed up there. We headed over to the slides, I'm not one to discipline other children even though I wanted to toss his butt in time out for pushing down a 2 year old! He followed us to the slides and kept bossing T2 around...and when he wasn't bossing him around, he was bossing the other kids around, including my 10 year old cousin.
Seriously, I'm surprised he didn't get knocked out. I'm pretty sure I would have looked the other way and said I didn't see it. Hell, I may have even helped.
He kept wanting to help Mr. Independent (AKA T2, AKA The Monkey) down the slide and even though I kept asking him in my nicest mommy voice to please stop pushing him, putting him on his lap etc etc because he can go down the slide by himself, he would.not.stop. In the mean time, T2 was pissed off. Part of me was hoping he pulled his hair like he does when his brother pisses him off. Also, there is a difference between what this kid was doing and what I've seen many other kids do when they want to play with "the baby" and help him. He wasn't being cute, at all.

Are you wondering where is MOTHER IS?! Yea, so was I. At one point, I saw him run over to someone...sitting at a picnic table on the other side of the playground. Not once did she get up to see what he was doing...even when he PUSHED my 5 year old cousin off the swing so he could have it, right in front of her.

I have a pretty high tolerance for kids in general, but I have never wanted so badly to ~~trip~~ discipline a strangers child.

So please, control your children at the playground. Even if they are brats, at least pretend to have some kind of control over them. Please.

Do you know what a cool name for block would be?

2010-06-07T09:05:00.000-04:00

T1: Daddy, do you know what a cool name for Bowser would be?
HH: What?
T1: Showser
HH: *lauhging* yea, that would be a cool name
*5 mins later, as HH goes back to reading his Nook*
T1: Daddy, do you know what a cool name for Mario would be?
HH: Shario?
T1: HEY! hahahaha
HH: Hey T1, do you know what a cool name for mommy would be?
T1: What??
HH: Steve
T1: *laughing*

Now this went on for a good 10 mins in the car until we hear

T1: Do you know what a cool name for block would be?
M: What?
T1: Cock

laughter erupts from the front seat while the poor 7 year old just laughs innocently. He continued to play the game, I couldn't get over block/cock. I just couldn't stop laughing.

Oh...and that Nook HH was reading? I'm a kick ass wife and bought it for him for Father's Day...of course I was way too excited to actually wait to give it to him. He loves it, and I'm a little bit jealous!

Swagbucks, have you seen this?

2010-06-03T16:01:00.000-04:00

I am slightly addicted.
Who doesn't like free stuff...especially free gift cards? Yea, I'm all about it. Just sign up and use swagbucks to search like you would on google. It's a google sister-site, so it's totally legit.

Click the banner above and try it out, it's a good time.

On that note...I promise for a better post soon. I have pictures and a wedding recap I need to post. I had the best time over the weekend with some great friends that I don't get to see nearly enough.

AND...today was T1's last day of first grade ::sob::
AND T2 turn TWO YEARS OLD in 9 days. Yes, NINE DAYS!!!! EEK!!!!

7? 13? 16? I don't even know anymore

2010-05-22T13:33:00.000-04:00

The 7 year old is...well, he's 7. He's mouthy and if you tell him the sky is blue he'll tell you it's not. He argues about every.single.thing. It doesn't matter what we say or what we do, he just HAS to have the last word and has to argue about something. I realize that he gets this from me and when he looked a HH the other day, and exclaimed
SERIOUSLY, DADDY?!?!?!
all I could was was laugh. I mean, seriously?! I could feel HH glaring at me but I couldn't help it. Other things I've heard this week include "So, how DOES a baby get in your belly?" or how about "You just don't care about much, do you mommy?" This was when I told him I didn't care what his brother was doing, to worry about himself.

However, I have to say the best bad parenting and yet best story of the week was when he was going on and on about who knows what and HH mumbled a bit louder then he should have "jesus christ kid" and without missing a beat we her the reply: "Stop calling me Christ!!!" Again, I fell in to a fit of laughter because again, what else was I to do?! He then proceeded to yell at us to stop laughing at him. Ah, being a parent is fun times, fun times indeed.

Oh and for the record, we don't normally say Jesus Christ, ever, but for whatever reason it's coming flying out twice in the past week. I fully expect a phone call from school any day now.

After 2 you'd think it would stop.

2010-05-18T13:07:00.000-04:00

So, when are you having another one?

Another margarita? Now, thanks.
Another cupcake? I'll have that with my rita, I think.
Another haircut? Yea, I really should make an appointment.
Another human being emerge from my vagina? Um, not.going.to.happen.

So please, please for the love of all things holy, stop asking.

No, I don't need to have a girl. Yes, I drool over adorable pink hats and patent leather shoes...but no, I am not going to "go for 3" just to see if I will have the opportunity to max out my Target card on adorable little baby girl sun dresses.

I love babies, I do. I love my boys. I do not NEED or WANT another one. My car? It fits 2 kids nicely. My house? Yep, fits 2 nicely. I have 2 hands, one for each kid while crossing the street. My paycheck? Yep, it's good for 2 kids.

If you want to have more, go for it. More power to ya. Really. I think kids are great, I think big families are amazing. I am in awe of the parents who can pull it of...truly, I am. I am just not one of them.

After the 2nd child you would THINK it would get better. I mean, everyone expects you to have a second...so of course they ~~annoy the hell out of you~~ ask when you are going to start trying. I'm not sure why people think this is acceptable. I mean, it's not like I go up to random people and ask if they plan on having sex that night....so why is it when you have kids it's suddenly okay to ask when you plan on banging your husband and getting knocked up again?
Why is it that since I have 2 boys it automatically means we should have another baby? I'm not going to lie, my heart wasn't 100% sold on not having anymore until recently. My head, yep it's been on board for about 2 years now. My heart? Not so much.
Until I thought I might be pregnant, and I was scared.to.death. Way more scared then I was the first time around when I was unmarried, living with my boyfriend who had an unstable job. I went into panic mode and literally did a happy dance when not 1 but THREE tests showed I was certainly not sharing my body with another human being.

So, just to put this subject to rest. We are not having anymore babies. We are not going to try for a girl...and I will not be held responsible for my actions if certain family members do not stop asking!

100 weeks

2010-05-14T20:26:00.000-04:00

I get these emails that tell me things like "Thing 2 is 100 weeks old! How is he doing" and then it goes on to tell me all the things my son is most certainly NOT doing.

Like talking.

He spits out a few words when it suits him, he signs when it suits him, but in general he babbles, yells, points and then laughs at you. He just started shaking his head no, want to know how I found out? He was in time out (yes, we've started time outs already...more on that later) and when I asked for a hug he looked at me and shook his head no. I thought certainly it was a mistake, so I asked in my sweetest mommy voice "Can mommy have a hug" and he, very pointedly, shook his head no. Hmmm.
I did manage to get my hug..and went on his merry way.

As for the time outs, I'm not going to lie I thought everyone that said "sure, we started time outs at 18 months" was on crack. I mean really, what 18 month old that can't talk and still doesn't realize that you aren't supposed to chew on pennies is going to understand time out? Well in the past few months we've had a serious issue with throwing, mainly Sir Crazy throwing toys at his brothers head. Now, I'm not going to lie, I turn and laugh because it's usually well deserved...but, not exactly something we want him to think is acceptable when we're, say, at the playground. Finally I did time out. 1.5 minutes on the step.
He screamed.
He cried.
He hated me.
He climbed off the step, I put him back. Super Nanny ain't got nothin' on me!

The next time...he did the same thing, but it wasn't as bad.

Tonight? He sat on the step with minimal crying but gave us puppy dog sad face eyes the whole time. He then took the bowl of cheerios he had earlier smacked out of my hand and sat down to munch on them happily.

So okay...at 100 weeks old, maybe he gets it.

Oh...and for the record, who the hell counts by weeks once your past, I don't know, 12.

Has it really been 10 days?

2010-05-12T11:15:00.000-04:00

Wow I'm a sorry excuse for a blogger.

You'd think I'd have some really good post planned too, but I don't. I have the following nonsense.

~At dinner the other night HH and I were discussing foods that you can't deep fry or cover in cheese and be delish. We didn't come up with many, other then some that just wouldn't hold up well to deep frying (watermelon). So yea, pretty much everything tastes better deep fried or covered in cheese (or in the case of things like french fries, both!) This is generally what our dinner conversations consist of, when we're not being bombarded with stories on who did what on the playground and just exactly how toys ended up flying through the window on the bus, while it was moving.

~I'm not pregnant.
This may not seem like a big deal but when you haven't had a period since the end of March, you start to worry. I confirmed with my Dr the other day that my body just hates me and is playing a cruel and evil trick on me. It's probably wrong to skip out of the OBGYN office, but I think I did. She gave me 3 months of the Ring free (SCORE!) until HH can go get snippity snip snipped. When I got to my car I stuck the packs in my diaper bag since I didn't have my purse with me and didn't want to leave them just sitting on the front seat while I ran in to the grocery store. I dropped the baby off with my mom today so I could ~~blog~~ work in peace and quiet. Yea, I forgot to take them out. I know, I know...I'm 29 years old and I have 2 kids, my mother finding my birth control should not be a problem. What can I say? I have issues...you know, in case you didn't already know this.

~Speaking of my mom, we're going on vacation with my parents this summer. For a week, in a cottage on a lake. I'm super super excited, I just hope she doesn't drive me completely batty in that week. I see lots of wine...and margaritas in my future that week. I'll have no phone, no tv and no internet. I'll need the alcohol to get through the withdrawals.

I didn't fall in to a black hole

2010-05-01T10:15:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot going on around here and as usual my blog got pushed to the side. Sorry those of you who follow and actually read. It's just been a hell of a week.

The Ugly:
My uncle has brain cancer.
It's inoperable.
They are giving him 6-8 months with chemo and radiation.

He needs McDreamy. He needs a miracle.

The Bad:
I hate not being able to fix this. I'm a fixer. I like to make the people around me happy, it's what makes me happy. I can't make my cousins happy, I can't make my aunt happy. My cousin has been my best friend since I was 8, and yes this is the same cousin that doesn't know about this blog. I don't have a good reason for that, other then nobody in my family knows about it. Regardless, she IS my best friend. No matter how frustrated I get, no matter how different we may be at times, I love her like a sister. She's way more then just a friend, way more then just a relative. Her family, her parents are almost as close to me as my own. I spent weeks upon weeks with them every summer for pretty much my entire childhood. Thinking that "The Grand Pooba" might not be around to see my kids grow up, to see his own grandkids grow up...it breaks my heart.
That's not to say that the doctors could be off, maybe he'll have a year, maybe 2. Maybe it'll only be 3 months. Nobody can say for sure...and I don't think this is any different for the rest of us. None of us know how long we have...it just really starts to put stuff in to perspective. Things that seemed important, now seem silly.

The Good:
There has been some good. My mom and I took those crazy boys of mine to MI to visit family. We did a March for Babies and had a ball. I haven't seen them since my wedding 5 years ago, so it was nice to sit and talk. My boys met their cousins, and they loved each other.
Here's a few pictures from last weekend:

Writers workshop

2010-04-22T09:36:00.000-04:00

This is my first writers workshop from mamakat. I needed a distraction this morning, so, here it is. My prompt today? Divorce.

Here's my take: never say never.
I plan on ~~tormenting~~ loving my husband for the rest of my life. Right now, today, that is the plan. That was the plan yesterday and that is most likely going to be the plan tomorrow...but I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know what the future holds for any of us, maybe he'll wake up tomorrow and decide that I am bat shit crazy and he can't deal anymore. Maybe I'll decide I was really meant to be a gypsy or that I want to buy a house on the beach and drink fruity umbrella drinks and have affairs with cute cabana boys. Who knows.
What I do know is that even when he makes me want to scream, I love him. I can't imagine my life without him but I'm not naive. I know people change, things change and if one day he decided I wasn't the woman he wanted to be with, I wouldn't want him to stay out of obligation. I'm not a fan of staying together for the sake of the kids, I think that is just as wrong (if not more so) then whatever it is that happened to make you consider leaving. If you're not in love, if that person doesn't make you happy more then they make you sad, then you shouldn't be with them. Divorce is messy and sad but I don't think it's always a bad thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't exhaust every other avenue to try and make things work, I'm not at all saying you should just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. Not at all. I am saying that if you can't make it work, if you can't make each other happy no matter how hard you try, if you don't love the person you are married to...I totally 110% agree with divorce. Kids need to see parents that are happy and in love, parents that argue but still kiss each other goodnight and say I love you before walking out the door. (2 things that happen every single day around here) Kids need to see all of that...if they see parents that walk around angry with each other, parents who fight and argue more then they laugh and hug...that is what they are going to grow up thinking is okay and normal. Life is too short and at some point you have to give up the fight, admit your part in the problem and make a choice. Fix it or move on.
Now should my darling, wonderful husband ever raise a hand to me in anger...or do anything to hurt our children...well, that would be it. I'd walk away faster then he could apologize and he'd better just pack his bags and start moving because there is no way in hell my dad or brother would let him get away with it. I'm pretty secure in saying I don't have to worry about that though. The man doesn't have an abusive bone in his body...so I think it's safe to say that he'll be with me and my bat shit crazy ways for a very long tim.

Do you say God?

2010-04-21T08:31:00.000-04:00

As in "Oh my God" or "God Damnit!"?

At home, sometimes I do. In public, I try not to.
I'm not a religious person, but I was raised going to church until I was 11. 11 years of being reminded not to take the Lord's name in vain is a hard habit to break.
HH is 110% anti-religion. After what he went through as a kid/teen I can't really say I blame him. I totally respect him and what he chooses to believe and not believe.

So we're not in this phase where Thing 1 is testing out what he can and can't get away with saying (he's thrown out "that sucks" once in awhile too). It started with O.M.G. (thank you iCarly)...and then it was "oh my gosh"...and once in awhile he'll throw in an "Oh my God". When he does I remind him that we don't say that, that he says gosh.

HH told me I'm being too strict and that he doesn't think it's a big deal. Honestly, it's not a big deal to me at home...but I know that it's the same as saying shit or damn to some parents and I don't want him to go to a friends house and bust out with "OH MY GOD!" at the dinner table and then feel awkward when the table gets quiet and friends mom has to lean over and tell him they don't say that in their house. Does that make sense? It's more about respect for other people's beliefs then my own.

We've already discussed "bad" words, he knows what he can and can't say. He also knows that there are words that adults say but they're not for kids. Just like there are movies and games for adults that aren't good for kids. He gets it, and he's fine with it. This whole God thing is tripping us up though.

Is there something in the water?

2010-04-14T20:01:00.001-04:00

My boys can be crazy and hell on wheels on a good day, but in general they're really not SO bad. Okay, the little one is insane but then he gives you that big ass grin and you can't help but laugh.
For some reason this week...OMG, I've been ready to throttle them both. I swear, it's something in the water.

The tantrums
The crying
The whining

And that's just the OLDEST!!!

We're having pictures taken on Saturday morning and then that night is GIRLS NIGHT OUT...and you bet your sweet ass I'm going to need it!!!

As a side note, and funnier note I was telling Thing 1 today that our friends had their baby. I'd link her blog, but AHEM, she hasn't posted in a year. Anyway, this is the conversation that takes place:

M: Owen and Cole have a new baby brother.

T1: What? They do? Is it a boy?

M: (refraining from the sarcastic come back of "no, their baby BROTHER is a girl*) Yep

T1: Like my baby brother?

M: Well, yes but he's just a little guy

T1: Like a little peanut?

M: Yep

T1: Or a little meat loaf

M: Well, Travis is more the little meat loaf *laughing*

*I never thought I'd be excited at the idea of having a teenager in the house but I am excited for the day that these boys get and understand my sarcasm. Of course with that will come them throwing it right back at me, but I'll reserve the right to bitch about that later :)

Getting to know me

2010-04-12T07:00:00.003-04:00

Daisy left me a comment yesterday and when I went to visit she had this cute question/answer blog up. I decided I wanted to play too!

To play..copy the questions..answer them..post them..then come back here and get your link on.

The questions..

1. What color do you wear the most?
Probably black and green, although I'm trying to get away from the black. It's a hard habit to break but I'm trying!

2. Would you rather have $10,000 dollars or a dream vacation?
Give me the cash!!! My dream vacation at the moment is sitting on the beach with an umbrella drink and cute boy to refill that drink and a paid nanny to watch my kids. I'm pretty sure I can do that for less then 10K and still have money left over to do, you know, ~~buy clothes and shoes~~ save.

3. Do you have a weird, quirky or unusual habit?
Making list upon list upon list
Saving junk that I really don't need to save. I have issues although it's nothing like this

Thank you Google Images

4. I really need to start..........?
Cleaning. HH cleaned out the basement yesterday so I suppose today I should do something equally productive. Maybe.

5. What was the first blog you ever read?
~~Well, her blog is currently having an identity crisis but~~ the first blog I started reading (and the girl that encouraged me to start my own when I was a bit angry with life) was Jen over at Maybe If You Just Relax. ~~I'll link it properly once it's back to it's full glory.~~ And, I'd like to state for the record that I was blog stalking her before she became the super-blogger chick she is now so obviously that just makes me even cooler, right? Or something.

6. Do you collect anything?
Everything and nothing, lol. Just ask HH who spent all weekend sorting my boxes of notes, all catagorized in shoe boxes by grade...from 7th-12th. Sad, I know. Oh, maybe I'll do a blog post on those. (and now I've just made all of my HS friends go "nooooo". Sorry girls, you know I have no shame!)

7. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
My first REAL kiss, I was 13...we were in the woods by the football fields "watching" the game. We ~~watched football games~~ kissed a lot through middle/high school. It was a serious love hate relationship.

8. Do you text/twitter while driving?
I do text but I don't twitter, I have standards ;)

I'm a queen

2010-04-11T07:00:00.002-04:00

Obviously, I'm a queen in my house. What else could I be? I also happen to be a princess, but that's not the point.

Point being...I'm actually an honest to goodness QUEEN FOR THE WEEK!! Yep, that's me! :)

Elizabeth over at Confessions...from a Working Mom does this each week and I think it's awesome!! If you have found me via her blog, welcome. Come on over, get yourself some coffee and make yourself at home! I'll tell you a bit about myself: I'm the redheaded mama, and those boys over to the left? Yea, they're mine. I claim them most days, other days I consider dropping them off at the zoo. What? I don't call the youngest "monkey" for nothing!
I'm a work at home mom, although that seems kind of silly because let's face it...every mom is a work at home mom. That being said, I'm a business manager for a photographer and I work from the desk in my living room. I told you I was a princess, and a bit spoiled.
I over share, I tell stories that shouldn't be posted for the whole internet to read, and I'm fairly certain I'm going to be paying my kids therapy bills in a few years..yet, I do it anyway.
I love coffee, as long as I can't taste the coffee.
Give me a good book and a blue margarita and I'm a happy girl.
I should live on the beach, but I don't.
I am kind of obsessed with lists, and I even make a new list once I cross something off.

My life with 3 boys (unfortunately the fat cat is no longer with us) is not terribly exciting but I like it and hopefully you'll stick around and get to know us and our dysfunctional selves a little better.

Welcome!

It's not about him

2010-04-07T14:07:00.000-04:00

My darling, fabulous, handsome husband is being incredibly supportive of me while I get a grip on my issues and figure out this whole new and improved me. He's been telling me for years to just tell him what I'm thinking, when I'm thinking it, rather then stewing over it for days/weeks.
Unfortunately for him, this means dealing with my random melt downs/drama queen behavior at times. Like yesterday. Oh, yesterday.

It started with me getting in line at Starbucks only to realize my wallet was on my desk, which is obviously not in my car, and thus I had no money. Lucky for me I realized this before I ordered and was able to get out of line and head home....without be beloved white mocha. *sigh*

I had a bunch of work issues come up that put me way behind on getting out the door to run my child-free errands. Once I finally did get out the door, with my wallet this time, I ran around and managed to accomplish most of what was on my to-do list, which included a stop to look at lingerie.

Time for the rant:
Why don't they make cute/sexy lingerie for REAL women that you can actually buy in the store?! First store had nothing and the second had a whole line of cute matching sets and they were even on sale. Except those cute little thongs, even in the largest size they came in, would still get lost under the spare tire around my middle. And the bras? Really? Ugh. I noticed that they were labeled "juniors" which I found a bit disturbing, a sure sign I'm getting old. All I know is that when I was in HS and shopping in the juniors department, I sure as hell was not wearing stuff like THAT! I can't imagine explaining those to my mother!
Anyway, after leaving that section (and I totally kept typing sex instead of sec right there.) I wandered the entire area and couldn't find anything remotely sexy made to fit someone with, oh I don't know, curves!
I didn't bother with Victoria's secret because I rarely have luck there and am way too cheap anyway. Ambiance has some pretty dirty stuff but I wasn't really going for the naughty nurse or sexy cop look. I just wanted simple & sexy. I've found stuff online but I prefer to buy in store so I can see the quality. I don't care that it only gets worn for 30 seconds before it's in a pile on the floor, if I'm spending the money to buy it I don't want it to feel like sandpaper!

Here's the thing though, I'm not buying this stuff because I think HH wants me to wear it, I wanted to buy it because it makes ME feel sexy. I'm sick of wearing the mom PJ's every night. After I left the store empty handed I sent HH a text and told him what happened and that I was going to start weight watchers again, and maybe when I'm 20lbs lighter I will try again. This turned in to a whole back and forth me being a drama queen text-fest. He said if I lost weight then he'd start working out and tone up so he'd be "ripped". He thought it would be motivation, except I really don't care about muscled or him being ripped. I've never been a body girl, I'm definitely a personality/eyes/smile girl, always have been. I don't want to get skinny for him, I want to do it for me...and I don't want to wear cute lingerie for him, I want to wear it for ME. Of course all of these things also make him happy...and I like making him happy. I like doing things for him that make him happy, but right now...it's about me.

A post because I feel like it

2010-04-04T17:46:00.000-04:00

For the record, I am happy. Happier then I have been in a long time. I'm not saying I'm cured, I'm not saying I wasn't depressed and I'm not saying that there isn't a chance I'll be back in a funk next week. I'm also not saying it has anything to do with the freaking amazing reason I was up until almost 2am last night, only part of which involved little to no clothes and a lot of talking. Nope, not saying that.
I am saying, for now I'm HAPPY. I'm currently sitting outside on the laptop listening to my seven year old play moon sand with his action figures. My dad, my husband, and my baby are inside napping. Yes, all of them. My mom is floating around somewhere because the woman is incapable of just sitting still for 30 seconds. If I had that problem I am sure my house would be much cleaner, but I did not inherit that trait from her. I am perfectly content sitting here doing nothing, drink in hand, on this perfect spring day.

The eldest child has been on Spring Break. I'm not going to lie, a solid week of mommy + 2 boys did not sound promising, especially when it started off with rain. Luckily the rain cleared and we managed to fit in 3 different sleepovers, a trip to the zoo, a park play date, Easter and tomorrow...REST!

Here are a few pics of my absolutely (if I do say so myself) boys from the park and the zoo.
Brotherly love at the zoo. After 12 tries of getting a picture of them together, looking at the camera and smiling, this is as good as I get. Personally, I think it says a lot :)

My Polar Bear

He was hiding from the goats, he had no interest in feeding them but he did want to eat the crackers himself!

The park. My gosh I love these pictures.

BFF's

And with that, I leave you with...ROTTEN!

The way a book feels

2010-03-26T14:45:00.000-04:00

Have you ever bought a book because it felt good in your hands?

While I can understand the appeal of the Kindle and other e-readers, I like the way books feel and smell. I like turning down the pages and bending the covers back while I read. Something about flipping the pages, waiting to see what is going to happen. I love it.

I was at the store today just looking through books and I picked up The Time Travelers Wife. I've been wanting to read it before I see the movie but it has an insane wait list at my library. I didn't plan on buying it, I just picked it up out of habit but as soon as I did, I had to buy it. It was the way it felt in my hands, the pages are thin but heavy and it's one of those "chic lit" sized paperbacks. It just felt like the kind of book I would keep on my bookshelf for years.

I'm such a dork.

Random updates

2010-03-22T20:46:00.000-04:00

Let's see...things around here are a little less cloudy. I wouldn't go so far as to say normal but really, who wants to be completely normal? That's kind of boring. Handsome Hubby and I have done a lot more talking lately, I've been more open then normal and actually speaking up when I'm happy, sad or annoyed. When I think something, I say it, rather then just keeping it to myself. Random example: I was coming upstairs to go to bed after a GH marathon, HH was walking out of the bathroom and back to our room in a pair of swishy pants and no shirt, I just caught a glimpse of him and he looked freaking HOT. Now, we've been together almost 11 years (next month) so I've seen him in every level of undress but something about that moment was just gorgeous. Normally I would grin and think that but I wouldn't say anything. Not b/c I was embarrassed to find my husband attractive, I don't really know why I wouldn't say anything. I just wouldn't. So, when I went to bed, I told him. Of course he laughed and totally thought I was joking, I had to reassure him that I was indeed being serious. It's little things like that, things that seem incredibly insignificant but once I start speaking up, I don't feel like there is so much going on in my head and it's easier to relax. So, when I get annoyed that he just dumped dirty blankets on top of the laundry basket of clean clothes, I say it. I think at times HH might be regretting the fact that his encouraged this whole new open and honest me.
There are still some aspects of my life where I bite my tongue and try to keep it to myself, I do still have a filter...and I use it. Probably too much, but hey, baby steps, right?

I think I mentioned before that my oldest stopped saying I Love You and it nearly broke my heart in to a million pieces. We started a tickle game where I had to tickle it out of him...and now he's decided that instead of I Love You, he says Blanket. I'll take it. As he gets older I'm kind of bummed about being right. When he was a baby/toddler he was a total mama's boy. He wanted nothing to do with HH and at times HH was hurt by that. I always told him that there would come a day when Daddy was the cool guy and mommy was chop liver. Well, unfortunately for me, that day has come. :/ I'm thrilled that he loves his daddy and thinks daddy is super cool (he is) and smart (definitely) but it also makes me sad that my little boy isn't such a little boy anymore...and that mommy is the uncool one.

As for the youngest, well, he's insane. I can't believe he turns 2 in just a few months. Oh, and he doesn't talk. No really, he doesn't. He babbles, he yells, he grunts and he can say 3 words: car, ball and nana. Once in awhile I get mama. He used to say dada but that has gone out the window. Some days this really bothers me, especially when I see other kids his age and younger speaking clearly and often...but I also know that his brother was the same way and that once they start, they don't stop. I know one day soon the flood gates will open and before I know it I'll have two mouthy boys instead of one that's mouthy and one that is just c.r.a.z.y.

Now I forget what I was going to blog about

2010-03-20T20:14:00.000-04:00

I'm on the lap top watching Monsters Vs. Aliens with the boys.
I popped open my blog with the intentions of doing another Vegas post, maybe, but now I forget. You see when I opened the page Thing 1 points and says "Hey there's Four. Until he died." Just like that, completely matter of fact. Oh that kid.

He also decided over dinner tonight that he wants to write a commercial but he needs a video camera. When we questioned what this commercial would be for, he said beer. "It's good for you and the best thing to drink!" He was really in to this commercial idea until I told him it would cost money to film a commercial. After that he decided to go back to his previous money making scheme of having me bake brownies and him selling them for $5 a piece. I asked what he was planning on putting in these brownies that he thought they would be worth $5, he assured me that it would just be the regular stuff like chocolate and sugar.

Hmmm...I think he'd have better luck if they were laced with something more, um, adult friendly :) It would be a whole other set of clientele but they wouldn't blink at dropping $5 for a brownie!

What happens in Vegas...

2010-03-15T09:13:00.000-04:00

According to my boss, stays on YouTube. Or, in my case, goes on my blog. Hey, I have no shame.

The trip was fabulous. I could seriously go to Vegas and not spend a dime if I could just people watch all.day.long.
A few highlights: I was groped by elvis, kissed by a stranger, carded for a cosmo, almost missed our flight home, molested a statue, posed with a gorilla, won $12 in penny slots, spent $12 on a horrible frozen margarita...I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting. And yes, I have photographic proof of most of these. Those are coming later. I promise. For now, I leave you with one of my favorite pics from the trip. This is outside MGM on the day we got there.

And, by the way, it's just WRONG to go to the dessert and have it be 55 and rainy most of the week. I know it looks pretty but it was chilly!

Standby

2010-03-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

Our flight for Vegas leaves in 14 hours.
Business trip, I swear...no, really. Granted, it's a photographers conference and I'm not an actual photographer, but that is so not the point. Really, it's not...this is strictly business :)
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

I am packed, other then shower stuff.

I'll be gone for HH's birthday, when I asked what he wanted he said he wanted me to have a great time. Go ahead, say awe or gag, whichever you prefer. Regardless, it was sweet.

I'd like to say I was thinking ahead and have posts ready to go while I'm gone, but, I don't.

So...Standby....

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

2010-03-04T13:23:00.004-05:00

A beautiful day in the neighborhood...

Ahhh...sunshine.

It makes me happy. Very happy.

And since I've been in such a funk lately, other things that make me happy (other then my boys)

*The first sip of coffee in the morning, especially my white mocha. mmm. Better then sex...okay, maybe tied with really good sex.

*Turning the radio up (go ahead...say it..."to that sweet sound...") in the car and rocking out.

*Long HOT showers.

*Fresh baked cookies, right out of the oven.

*Chocolate Peanut butter ice cream, the kind my hubby brought me last night because he thinks my body is just fine. (he's crazy...sweet, but crazy)

*A good book.

*Nickelodeon shows. I'm not going to lie, I like watching iCarly and Drake & Josh just as much as my 7 year old.

*Lists

*Blog comments *ahem, hint hint*

Want to know what is GREAT for the self esteem?

2010-03-03T15:00:00.000-05:00

Shopping.

I mean really...I think everyone on the brink of a depressive melt down should go shopping. If you want to put youself over the edge that is.

There is nothing better then picking out clothes, in what you believe is your size and also happens to be the largest size they carry and piling them in to the dressing room...b/c you're only doing this once damnit...only to realize you can't zip, pull, push or otherwise shove your ass (or muffin top) in to anything.

Even when your husband promises to "show you there is nothing wrong with your body" after the kids are in bed does nothing to help with the fact that you are still leaving in 4 days, will be gone for 5 nights and only have clothes to wear on 2 of those days. Argh. And yes dear, having anyone see me naked right now is exactly what I need to feel better. Yep, definitely.

Cloudy with a chance of normal

2010-02-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

Life...it's not always good and it's most certainly not always bad.
Right now, I'm in a weird place in my life and I'm trying to get through it as best I can. There are a lot of thing I need to work through, things I need to change, things I need to accept.

I've been in this weird foggy place for weeks now and I finally admitted that there was...no, there IS a problem. It's beyond PMS and beyond winter blues. It's turning me in to someone I don't really care to be around.

This blog may take a different turn for awhile or maybe I'll type these posts out and never hit publish. Who knows...all I do know is that writing it all down is therapeutic for me. It helps me see things clearly, it helps to write it down and read it over and over again, picking it apart and trying to make sense of it all. Little by little, I'm figuring it all out.
I'm not big on this whole public meltdown and airing all of my dirty laundry for the world to see...but I don't want to hide and pretend everything is okay either, because it's not. It will be...but right now...it's a little cloudy.

What to do on a snowy day

2010-02-21T09:55:00.000-05:00

I'm a little late on this weeks blog hop. It's been kind of a rough few weeks for me, but I feel like I'm coming out of it. I hope.

This week the topic is cabin fever and what we do when we can't go outside to play or hit the park (2 of my personal faves during the warmer months)

In case you've forgotten, I don't really do snow and winter but unfortunately it's a part of life around here. For the most part, we do a decent job of avoiding cabin fever and keeping the boys from going crazy...and making mommy want to drink.

We do things like movie day instead of movie night. Pop popcorn, curl up on the couch and watch movies. This is generally a weekend activity since Thing 1 is in school during the week and the younger one, well, he doesn't actually watch movies. He more glances, laughs and then runs away to find something else to destroy. He and I spend many many hours building block towers so that he can demolish them. It's great fun.

(not my picture, thank you google images)

Another way to make things fun. Backwards dinner days. We eat dessert first and then if there is room, we have real food...like grilled cheese or pizza. It's fun and it breaks things up from the norm.

We play a lot of games (Guess Who with the big one and put the blanket over mommy's head with the little one. LOL)...and legos...and coloring.

We try to get out of the house as much as possible, even if it's just running to Target or going to see a $1 movie. We meet friends at kid friendly spots like Chuck E Cheese or we plan play dates. LOVE play dates!!

The boys do get out in the snow to play, which they love. Okay, T2 just loves to eat the snow.

What do you do when the weather is less then desirable?

At least I got my coffee

2010-02-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

We've had a ridiculous amount of snow...and please don't tell me if I don't like it to move someplace warm. All I have to say to that is: Bite me. Now that we've cleared that up...moving on.

We've had snow storm after snow storm and I'm not even sure how many inches (or feet) of snow is out there anymore. It's insane...and since I hate snow, I'm having a really hard time with being stuck in the house lately. No, I'm not a hermit...I leave the house it just seems like it's only to do drop off or pick up at school, the grocery store, or running to the post office and the bank. Not exactly fun stuff. Today, it's not snowing...and the roads are relatively clear.

After dropping Thing 1 off at school, I called my mom to see if she wanted to do shopping and lunch. Nope, she's relaxing today. Okay, fine. Next I figured I'd make some coffee, do a bit of work and then maybe head out with the Thing 2 for lunch.

Except when I went to make my lovely and delicious cup of espresso, no espresso pods. Surely this was a mistake, right? But, no. None to be found, my darling handsome hubby must have used the last one and didn't tell me. *sigh* What's a girl to do...I got ready and off we went to Starbucks.

After swinging through the drive thru and grabbing my perfectly made white mocha, I figured we'd hit the local library. Ian needed to get out and play, plus it's free and mommy can sit and relax for a bit with a good book and coffee. Ahhhh.

Oh wait. What's that? The library is CLOSED. Yep, apparently they have weird hours and they weren't open yet. No worries, I'll just go home and toss some laundry in and then head back out in a bit and maybe call a friend and meet up for lunch.

Thing 2 had other plans, he'd apparently had a very rough morning of eating nutrigrain bars, a banana and watching Jack's Big Music Show that he was worn out. He promptly passed out in the 10 minute drive home....and is now napping, at 11am.

So yea...at least I got coffee.

Statute of Limitations

2010-02-12T08:00:00.002-05:00

I was at the mall the other day, have I mentioned that I hate the mall? I bought a bunch of shower gel during Bath and Body's buy 3 get 3 free sale before Christmas. Problem was, they didn't have the one scent that I love...a friendly sales girl told me to just buy any 6 and then come back to exchange them. Yea, 2 months later I got around to it.

Anyway, I did that and I had to pick up a sweeper belt from Sears. Where I managed to leave my wallet on the desk and was paged to please return to the vacuum department. I know, I know...you are so incredibly jealous of my fabulous WAHM life. It's okay, it's hard being me. As I was heading to the food court to ~~stuff my face~~ eat lunch I noticed a couple holding hands. Nothing uncommon for the mall really but he was sporting a letterman's coat so of course that got me to thinking why they weren't in school. It was, after all, the middle of a weekday. Glancing over I realized that his jacket from from '06.

I'm not an expert since I didn't do anything worthy of a letter in HS (unless you count mat stat, which, I don't) but I'm pretty sure there is some kind of statute of limitations on how long it is socially acceptable to wear said jacket. In highschool? Acceptable. Summer after graduation? SURE. 3.5 years later?! Really, I'm fairly certain that once you are old enough to drink, it's time to pack that thing away until your 25 year HS reunion when you want to see if you still fit in to it.

Thoughts?

**I shouldn't even admit this but I will. I totally spelled it Statue of Limitations the first time and almost left it. Hello, dumbass**

Since I know you are on the edge of your seats!

2010-02-11T15:24:00.001-05:00

another 365ish update

So excited about this...too bad it's for an auction. If you don't read their blog, you're missing out!

Does it get any sweeter then this?!

This was taken to make sure the camera was working...since he managed to wedge himself under the chair, grab the camera off the middle of the table and proceed to drop it on the floor.

Okay, I forgot to take a real picture this day...so you get a random shot of stuff I'm selling. Whoops!

Yep, rotten

365 update

2010-02-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

I didn't forget about my Project ~~365~~ 326ish, I've just been a lazy lazy blogger.

So, here is an update with some of Jan.(with explanations, b/c some of them need it)

I've been playing Mario on T1's DS. Getting to world 4 is kind of a PITA, but one night I finally made it. I had to take a picture with my phone, HH thought I was ridiculous!

<3

He was eating wedding soup and Mr. Independent wouldn't let me help. Also, he loves to stick his fingers (yes, both) in his nose all.the.time.

He really is my little monkey

And, because I promised not all the pictures would be of my kids. Here is one from the first real snow storm of the season. Of course I was pelted with a snow ball after taking this one, or I would have tried for a better angle. Oh well.

Oh, notice I skipped a few days? Yea...I'm a slacker. I also skipped the 15-23rd while everyone was sick. Whoops! Will post another update in a few days so I can get caught up!

What? 2 posts in one day?

2010-02-07T20:34:00.000-05:00

And okay, they are two pointless posts but work with me here. I've had a few margaritas, I'm watching ~~commericials~~ the superbowl and hanging out with my hubby. The kids are sleeping and this is what I have to do in between ~~commercials~~
plays.

So, the topic of my second pointless post of the day: General Hospital. And, I want to know what you think. Come on, I know some of you have to watch, right? RIGHT?

Team Jax or Team Carly? (btw, if you haven't watched Friday's you may not want to continue reading)

I am totally team Carly on this one. Now don't get me wrong I love Jax with his autralian accent and blue eyes and I certainly wouldn't kick him out of ~~bed~~
my house BUT Carly is so right. He knew what he was getting in to when he married her and I hate that he lied to her. Dumb Dumb Dumb. It's Carly, come on now!!!

Liz/Lucky or Liz/Nik?

As much as it would be nice to see one couple stand the test of time without her falling in to bed with his family member, I'm on team Liz/Nik. They were HOT and I liked them sneaking around, call me a whore. :) I wish that they'd bring back some of Liz's spunk and sass like when she was a teen. That was fun.
Speaking of spunk and sass...love Sam/Jason. LOVE. If they make her stupid like they do with every female that comes in to contact with Sonny or Jason for too long I am going to be LIVID. I won't stop watching b/c that is just crazy talk, but I will be pissed.

Do you love or hate Luke and Tracey? I used to just roll my eyes and get annoyed but the longer they are together, the more I like them. I think they're a good pair. She's a fantastic match for Luke when it's all said and done.

Love Ethan...LOVE!
Hate Kristina. She's annoying. How did we go from her stripping for Jason to this simpering whining mess? Ugh.
Michael...he can go back in to a coma for all I care.
Favorite couple right now: Dominic/Dante and Lulu!! They make me smile, a lot. Plus, he's hot.

And...last but not least...Olivia: Team Sonny or Team Johnny? I'm undecided. I used to hate Olivia and Johnny but they've grown on me.

Okay...make me feel like less of a loser and reply with your thoughts. Or not.

In case you didn't realize

2010-02-07T13:20:00.002-05:00

I have this fancy little button over to the right

---------------------------->

Yep, that one right there.

Isn't it cute?

Yea, I think it would look awesome on your blog.

Just sayin'.

Oh, and if anyone is interested in creating an equally cute button for our Blog Hop, let me know!

Snowed in 2010

2010-02-06T19:32:00.002-05:00

We got hit with 12-18" of snow last night. It started around 4pm and didn't stop.

I hate snow. No, really, I do. I don't do cold...I don't enjoy going out and playing in it b/c my feet end up wet and I hate the tingly feeling you get in your hands when you go from cold to warm. And my legs always itch if we're walking in the cold and it's annoying.

Of course, I really didn't mind being snowed in. The boys and I watched Planet 51 last night and then after the little ones were in bed, HH and I watched 2 episodes of The Office. We're on season 4...and I'm in love with that show. I would leave HH for Jim and his messy haired prank playing self.

I didn't even bother getting out of my PJ's today...well except during nap time but we won't go there. :) I showered and put PJ's back on around 4 and when the boys go to bed we're curling up with a movie and cookies. mmmm, cookies.

I'm getting off track of my point. The snow.

It is pretty

but, it buried my car

Hop on over!

2010-02-05T08:24:00.004-05:00

Welcome to the weekly Blog Hop! Anyone is free to join in. Simply enter your information in the MckLinky at the bottom of this post, repost the MckLinky code in your own post on the topic, and enjoy your fellow bloggers' posts. Remember to leave some Comment Love!

This week's topic: What aspects of your parents' parenting do you want to continue in parenting your own kid(s)?

When I first read the subject for this week, I kind of sighed. Not because I don't love my parents, I do. It's just that our parenting styles are very very different. It's not that I intentionally do things differently, but I'm a different person then they are and HH grew up with an incredibly unusual upbringing so for us, we have to find a happy medium.

A few things that I do 100% hope to carry over in my own parenting:

1. Unconditional Love: I know everyone says they love their kids unconditionally, but my parents do this so incredibly well. No matter what we did or how we screwed up, my mom would meet us with a hug and tell us we'd figure it out. I called home at 17 sobbing because I rear ended someone. My dad didn't go on a tirade about me wrecking my car (although I did have to drive it with a beat up front bumper for awhile), he made sure I was okay and reminded me that it was an accident. There was no yelling, there was no judgment. When your 21 year old daughter shows up with her 24 year old boyfriend and says she's pregnant, it's a lot to take in. I hope that I can be as supportive and non-judgmental as my parents were and still are, even when they don't agree with the choices I make or the things I do. And if you know my brother, you know you pretty much have to be a saint to deal with him every day!

2. Parties: We didn't have a lot of money growing up. We weren't poor but my parents definitely lived pay check to pay check. Even so, birthdays were a big deal. There were parties, presents and cake. Always. Same goes for end of the school year parties, when I went from 5th grade to 6th it was a big deal because we were going to middle school. I had every girl in my class over for a sleepover on the last day of school. There was cake and streamers and we felt like the coolest girls ever. I remember when my brother was in HS he and his friends had just started dating (and if you know my brother, you can stop laughing now), for Valentines day three of them came over with their girlfriends and my dad made heart shaped pizzas. It was the little touches that as an adult I remember and want to do with my children. So when I'm going crazy with the cakes for birthday parties or trying to find matching streamers, that's why. My dad always made our cakes, he even made the top tier of my wedding cupcake tower. It's something you don't forget.

3. Family Reunion: My brother and I hated our family reunions as teens, we have one every Christmas with my dad's extended family. My grandpa had 4 sisters, so it's their families and I don't know them all that well. (both of my grandparents have passed) The only upside was getting an early Christmas gift, but we had to sit on Santa's lap for that to happen. I spent most of the evening hiding out with my cousin. I'm 28 now and I think I can count the number of Christmas reunions I've missed. (2) My parents were always insistant that we go every year. Even when I was in college and working 3 jobs, you'd better believe I took that Friday before Christmas off work so that I could be there. Now, it's a tradition I carry on with my boys. I'm sure they'll go kicking and screaming as teens but I think it's important for them to have a sense of family. I hope that when they are older, if my parents have passed, they'll feel them in that room the way I feel my grandparents when we go.

There is more, my parents truly are amazing and wonderfuly people, but I'll end it here. I do a lot of things very different then what they did with me, but I hope my boys know they can always ALWAYS count on me the way I can count on my parents.

One of those things I shouldn't post

2010-02-04T20:40:00.003-05:00

But, I'm going to anyway.

Why?
Because this is some funny shit.
Go here...it is not spam, it is not going to steal you identity but I promise it will make you laugh.
Sweet Sweet Revenge
(be sure to read the comments as well)
If you don't laugh, then you are probably in the wrong place :)

**I tried to post the pictures, but they were too small to read and appreciate**

Just a friendly public service announcement

2010-02-03T17:21:00.003-05:00

Do you have Facebook?
Are you "fans" of random businesses on your Facebook?

If you answered no, well, you can go ahead and read but it's really pointless for you. If yes, then please read.

If you are a Fan of, say, Chipotle: When they post something, do not reply in the comments saying how they suck and their food is gross. Really? Why are you a fan then? And really, you have nothing better to do with your time then to tell a computer screen that they suck? You don't really think anyone that cares reads that, do you?

I am a fan of Walgreens, they ran a deal a few months ago where you got a free photobook if you became a fan. I'm a sucker for free.
Today they post something about a big announcement on Oprah. The comments that followed were a lot of Oprah bashing (back off!!) and then a lot of whining about Walgreens selling beer. Who doesn't want to be able to pick up tylenol, bread and beer all in the same place?!

As for Oprah...I happen to like her. Sue me. One of the comments was:
you gotta be kidding LOL some of us work during the day it's for those soccer mom & dads who "work at home" or do "housework". Personally most of those talk shows are for those who live vicariously through others. Pretty useless.

I kind of wanted to reach there my computer and slap her but I didn't because I had "housework" to do and then I had to do some "work" while at home. Whore.

And no, I didn't read all the comments, that was the most recent when it popped up in my news feed.
Didn't your mother teach you "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Apparently not, whore.

What? That's not nice? It's okay, my mom never taught me that either.

Point being...don't try to start a debate or complain about a business on a FB FAN PAGE. Dumb dumb dumb.

She's a little crazy

2010-02-01T09:16:00.002-05:00

For whatever reason, I was in rare form this weekend. I was snippy and "stabby" as HH called me. I'm pretty sure he slept with one eye open for fear that I would injure him in his sleep. And, okay, maybe I gave him the idea that if I were going to stab him I wouldn't do it when he was expecting it. So yea, maybe the fact that he slept next to me but inside of a sleeping bag was my fault.
But really? He thought a sleeping bag would save him!?

I cried yesterday morning over something so ridiculous I'm not even going to share with you what it was. No, really, it was dumb. I know in my head it was dumb. I was having an emotional day, clearly.

HH went to the store to pick up some veggies for dinner, he spent $10 and bought the few things we would need to make not one, but TWO meals. What did I do? Asked him why he bought the expensive garlic and pointed out that we already had onion soup mix. Yes folks, that is the kind of mood I was in.

Oh...and more crying. I asked HH if he needed to soak the clay pot he was using for dinner in hot water, he said no. I asked again, because I swear it said something about hot water. He said no, absolutely not. I got the directions...it does say to soak it water. Not hot water, just water, for 10-15 mins before each use. He says "well yea, but not hot water. You kept saying hot water". Really ass, you couldn't have just told me that?! In reality, I'm the ass...I cried over that. Yes, cried.
and now you are probably wondering what else I could have cried about, that was even worse then that.

Maybe I'm just a little crazy....

My first carnival

2010-01-28T08:14:00.004-05:00

No, no no. Not the kind with rides, cotton candy and scary guys asking you to pop balloons with sharp objects. I've been to plenty of those.
This is a blog carnival.

I've mentioned on here before that I am on a couple local message boards. Back when I was planning my wedding I was addicted to TheKnot.com. Seriously, it was a sickness. There was a local board over there and as we all had our weddings and moved on to having families (well, except for those of us that did it backwards, but, whatever) we needed something else. One of the boards that was eventually created by a group of those same women is all about being or trying to become a mommy. My friends laughed at me when I was on the knot, they called it a cult and thought it just ridiculous...but now that I have these amazing women, who all have different opinions, thoughts and experiences to share, I'm so glad I was a part of that cult. My local boards are the go-to place when I have questions, when I need to vent or when I just want to tell a funny story to someone who gets it. Only other mothers (and 11 year old little boys) find poop stories funny.

Anyway, Paige started this Blog Carnival for us...each week we'll have a topic to post and discuss. Feel free to join in, you don't have to be an AntiDramaMama to participate. It's just fun...and be sure to check out the links below for some awesome and hilarious blogs.

This week's question:
What is your child's favorite and least favorite food?

Let's start with the eldest child. When he was tiny and we were young and didn't know any better we were all "oh, look, he likes peas...and green beans!" He ate most anything we gave him at first, HH's family was so impressed at Thanksgiving when he wanted more peas. His aunt proclaimed him to have a sophisticated palate.
Yea, then he hit 18 months and this is what his palate consisted of:

We spent a long time living on chicken nuggest, mac and cheese, PB&J, any bread, most fruits and of course waffles and pancakes. We'd sneak the ocassional veggie in there but for the most part, he was your typical toddler.
At 7, he tries most everything once. He has a definite opinion on what he does and doesn't like. Green beans, but only if they are from daddy's garden. Pizza. Celery with dip. Apples, peeled and cored but not sliced. We rarely have to fight with him to eat his dinner and generally, he'll try all the food at least once (Thank you YMCA preschool for starting that with lunch! Must try 1 of everything on your plate!) He still refuses broccoli and for some strange reason, will not eat soup. Of any kind.

Now, while my Mr. Thing 1 was pretty typical...his brother, is not. You see, this little guy eats everything...and anything....and all.day.long. Including markers. Yea...

And yes, he's following his marker snack up with water from my squirt bottle.

He's almost 19 months and I have a handful of things he doesn't eat and even those, it really just depends on his mood. Oh, and the kid likes HOT. Must get that from daddy. Handsome Hubby is addicted to this stuff:

I put a tiny drop on Thing 2's plate the other night because he kept going for HH's, and he screamed for more.
I can't say if he has a favorite food...he just loves food. At the moment his least favorite is probably Cheerios, apparently they simply do not have enough flavor for him. Which kind of sucks since I have a huge family size x2 box.

Okay, so visit the other blogs and feel free to play along (just make sure to link up!)

Things I was going to blog about, but didn't

2010-01-26T10:36:00.002-05:00

As if I needed more reason to keep my blog off my Facebook page, I have a new one. My dad has Facebook...and he's my friend. At first I was all "oh, I can't be FB friends with my daaaad!" Then I realized that I'm pretty boring and the rest of my fam is on there, so really? Whatever. That being said, this blog is not dad friendly. So, yet another reason to keep it away from the fam. Eh, I'm okay with that.

Everyone was sick last week. First all three boys and then me. Luckily I had a mild case of the cold nastiness they had, but it's come back to bite me today. Not sure what is up with that.

We spend the weekend in a nice hotel with T1 for a belated birthday getaway. We to the Museum of Natural History, swimming, ordered pizza, played Uno and had cupcakes for dessert. It was a fabulous way to spend a Saturday night.

I'm behind on my 365 project, which will likely end up being closer to 326 since I forgot totake pictures while battling the cooties. Ah well. I'm going to catch up eventually...and post other pictures and recaps from things like...oh, Christmas!

Then and Now

2010-01-09T21:42:00.002-05:00

My baby turned 7. Wow. He's such a little...man. He has strong opinions, he is independent, he notices everything and yet misses everything. LOL He's amazing...and frustrating...adorable and ornery. He will always be my baby. My first born. The baby I hadn't planned but couldn't live without. The baby that made us all grow up, made us want more, made us the couple...the parents...the individuals we are today.

I'll post more pictures later...along with some funny stories. Right now, I'm tired. I had 4 seven year olds at my house last night. And this morning those same 4 were up at 6:55am. Yea....part of me is excited for when they are 13 and sleeping until 11 :)

Maybe he should quit his job to be a comedian

2010-01-07T08:10:00.003-05:00

M: I forgot to check the door
HH: I checked it earlier, it's still there.
M: Ass

That was the conversation I had with HH last night before bed, although it was via text. Yes, I've been known to text him from upstairs because I'm too lazy to actually walk down the stairs and tell him something. Plus, it's cold and my bed was warm.

Dear Target,

2010-01-06T10:43:00.002-05:00

I love you. I do. This, my dear friend, will never change.

However, we need to have a little chat.

You see, it's January. Early January at that. It's, oh, -2 out there with the windchill lately. So while I am running in to your warmth and shaking snow out of my hair, I do not want to see skimpy little bikini's staring back at me. Last year they were out around Valentines Day, which was still unacceptable. Look, it's going to be freaking COLD here for the next, I dunno, 4 months. Also, swim trunks right next to snow pants? Really? If you are going to do that, have the decency to put the snow pants on sale. $16.99 for a pair of pants that will be worn 4 times is ridiculous.

Also, as if the fact that it's COLD (did I mention that??) isn't reason enough to keep those strips of fabric some people call a bathing suit in the boxes...let's discuss the fact that we just finished up Christmas and New Years. Which means, my lovelies, I do not want to think about putting my fat ass in to a bathing suit any time soon. I want to cover up with large sweaters and pretend like all those cookies aren't hanging out over the edge of my jeans. It's not work out incentive, it's more like...curl up with a package of Reese's peanut butter eggs incentive.

Thank you for your consideration,
The Cold & Chubby
Redheaded Mama

5 days in

2010-01-05T20:51:00.004-05:00

I've made it 5 days in to this whole Project 365 and only once did I resort to taking a picture of one of the boys. What can I say? He was being darn cute.

And, of course there are stories for most of these...so, here goes:

This was HH's way of loading the dishwasher

He was offended that I had to take a picture (and this was before I decided to do this project!) but I couldn't help myself. I mean, everyone puts wine glasses on the bottom, right? And plastic plates and cups...

So, in all fairness, I took a picture the day I loaded the dishwasher

hmmm

And...things that make me happy this week.

Saying "Thank You"

2010-01-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

As parents we strive to teach our children manners. Please, Thank You, You're Welcome, May I...etc etc etc.

So, why is it as adults, we slack off? Why do we forget to say please and thank you to the people that mean the most, that do the most for us? Do we simply start taking others for granted? Do we just forget in our busy day to day lives to thank the people who make it possible?

Even though my husband cleans in a different way and does things differently, I try to make it a point to tell him thank you. To tell him that I appreciate the fact that he helps out, that he does dishes and throws a load of laundry in when I'm swamped with other stuff, that when I'm in full blown panic mode he sits me down and asks me what he can do to help me out. Granted, sometimes all I want is for him to take the kids and leave me be...but that's not the point, right? :)

I think sometimes employers forget simple manners. Simple ways of telling the people who work for you, thank you. Thank you for supporting us, thank you for working hard to keep things going. Let's be honest, with out the employees...the employers would have nothing. It's simple human kindness, it's simple appreciation. I know right now most companies can't afford bonuses...or are using the economy as an excuse to skip out on bonuses and raises...but how about a simple Thank You. HH's company used to give out grocery store gift cards at Thanksgiving and they skipped it this year. They sent out a form letter/memo to everyone saying how the appreciate their hard work during these tough times. That is not the kind of Thank You I'm talking about...mass impersonal memo's floating around the office, yea...doesn't exactly have the same meaning behind it.

My point is, the next time someone does something nice for you...the next time someone goes above and beyond just say Thanks. Send a card, send an email, buy them a cup of coffee. It's the little things.

Project 365

2010-01-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

First, when I typed that title in I wrote "Project 326", so apparently I'm creating my own project? hmmm.

At any rate, there is a thing going on in the internet world (or has been for a few years it seems) called Project 365 where you take a picture everyday about something that is going on in your life, something funny or meaningful, something out of the ordinary or totally mundane. Just, something. And then blog about it. The idea is to mix it up, and then go back and reflect on it at the end of the year.
I love this idea. LOVE IT. I already take pictures almost daily but they're 98% of my kids. This year, I'm going to attempt to not only take pictures of my kids...but take pictures of the things and the places around me. The people that mean the most to me, the things that makes me smile and laugh.

Now, I know what you are thinking...you're thinking that I must be insane b/c I am lucky if I blog once a week much less once a DAY! Well, I'm not going to set myself up to fail. My goal is to take the pictures...and then I'll likely post a weekly collage of those pictures with a short recap. I may post some individually and I might post 2 weeks at once. Hey, this is my "project 326" and I can do what I want.

Anyone else doing this?? Are you using your current blog or starting a new one? (considering starting a new one for this, but we'll see...)

Who says romance is dead?

2010-01-02T10:03:00.004-05:00

Thing 1 spent the night with my parents last night, enjoying his last few days before school starts again. ahhh...school.

So anyway, after failing to find blue caroaco for my blue margaritas on NYE, I ran through the liquor store in my parents small town and there is was! I grabbed sushi on the way home and HH and I settled in for the night. We put the baby down and snuggled on the couch to watch Bourne Supremacy. (Love me some Matt Damon)

A movie and 3 margaritas later (what?) there was some cuddling and kissing going on. This was the conversation that ensued:

HH: You know I would have been fine just cuddling, I know you're tired.
M: Yea, well...
HH: It feels good to just hold you *all wrapped up on the couch*
M: Awe *snuggle*
HH: Of course it feels good to grab your boobs too
M: *laughing*
HH: Yep, I can kill the romance just.like.that. *snapping fingers*
M: hahahaha, yes you can
M: I'm so going to blog about this
HH: What?
M: Oh yea
HH: What, it'll go something like "and then he said..."
M: No, I'll just post it just as the conversation happened
HH: Oh, that's a little weird.

and then he went back to grabbing my boobs.

The End.

Resolutions

2009-12-31T14:38:00.003-05:00

Here we are on NYE and as usual, everyone wants to talk about resolutions. Everyone makes them, even if you say you don't...you do. There is something that you tell yourself you are going to change this year. Something you are going to do differently, wrongs you are going to make right. Or maybe some rights you just want to make wrong, hey, whatever floats your boat!

So, let's revist my resolutions from last year shall we:

1. Attempt to keep my house in order. Not just throw everything in the closet b/c people are coming over order...I mean real order. Like toys actually have homes and my couch is not constantly covered in the never ending cycles of laundry.
FAIL!

2. Be debt free by the end of the year. This is pretty much an ongoing thing. Luckily, we don't accumulate more, we're just still paying off the old stuff. Eh, whatever....it's a work in progress. We've paid of 3 of the biggies and another will be gone by the end of Jan...that leaves 2 bigger ones (a student loan and a CC) and 1 small one (the other student loan) left.
We're not debt free but we did get one of those loans paid off and a decent chunk put in to savings.

3. Attempt to be a better mom and appreciate the time I spend with my boys...rather then wanting to claw my eyes out if I have to play one more game of I-spy.
Eh, I have my moments b/c seriously you can only play the same game over...and over...and over again without wanting to run screaming in to a blue margarita. Over all, I wouldn't say it was a fail, necessarily...

4. Plan more date nights. We need this...I think everyone needs this.
FAIL. What can I say, we suck at planning date nights. We did get better at taking time each week to just snuggle and watch a show or a movie after the kids are in bed. So, maybe not a total fail

This year, I'm keeping it simple.

1. Save more money. We have less income but I still want to save more. I need to be better about the budget and I need to just spend less.

2. Organize my 1800000 pictures, digital and prints, in to albums. Create back ups of all our pictures and videos.

3. Survive another year of raising 2 boys.

And yea, that's pretty much it. I might still Jen's idea of setting monthly goals, I like that....but I'm kind of a lazy whore, so we'll see.

What are your resolutions this year??

Why do I find time to blog on Wednesday?

2009-12-30T17:11:00.003-05:00

And yet I suck at finding time the rest of the week? Hmmm.

Whew. Who else is happy to see Christmas behind us? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas...I just don't love the aftermath of it all. The piles of toys that have no homes, the new clothes that need put away, the stuff you don't want/need but yet now have. Come on, you know it's true! Every year some well meaning family member sends you something ridiculous. So, what did YOU get this year? :)

I have a whole toy post planned out but it's going to have to wait. I don't have that much time today :)

And with that, I leave you with these. Ah, my boys.

Wednesday

2009-12-23T22:12:00.003-05:00

That means it's okay to post a half assed blog entry, right?

Oh, what's that? All my recent blog entries have been half assed? Ah yes, I suppose that is true!

At any rate...here are pics. Family fun time with my boys.

I have no idea what they are doing, but they were having fun doing it!

He looks so tiny

and yet...not

With Santa:

Merry Christmas!! I probably won't be around for a few more days (shocking, right?)

Ah, time to blog

2009-12-17T22:02:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here, at my cluttered desk with only the Christmas lights on, sipping an adult beverage and it finally feels like Christmas. Granted, we don't have snow, but my shopping is done...I have a closet full of hidden gifts and a kitchen filled with cookies. I have back to back holiday parties this weekend...and honestly? I couldn't be happier.
I'm one of those rare breeds that actually enjoy Christmas shopping. No, really. I do. I like picking out gifts, especially for my boys and I can.not.wait. for them to open them next week. I might be more excited then the almost 7 year old.

Speaking of him, yes he'll be SEVEN in THREE WEEKS!! Holy freaking cow. We're taking him to stay in a fancy hotel (free night!) and then hitting the Natural History Museum. Then sometime later in the month he'll have a sleepover with some of his best buds. Lord help me!
He was making his teacher a Christmas card today....I helped him spell it all out and then told him he could draw a picture. He thought for a moment and then replied "Can I draw me and Mrs. O shooting guns with fire bullets at cans?!"
Um, no sweetie. I was thinking maybe a Christmas Tree?
"Oh, I don't know how to draw that"
Oy. I haven't looked at the finished product, but I think it is some sort of tree.

I spent today doing the following:
T2's hair cut
Craft Store
Target
BJ's
T2's EIGHTEEN MONTH CHECK UP!!!
Attempted nap - FAIL
Baked mint chocolate chips cookies, lemon cake cookies and no bake cookies
put together 2 cookie trays
wrapped ribbon on 26 rice krispy treats for T1 to take to school tomorrow.
and managed to feed everyone in there at some point. It's a bit of a blurr.

And now...I blog. Ahhh...peace and quiet and I feel like a bit of the stress is leaving my body. That is, until I remember that ohmyfuckinggod my inlaws are going to be at my house 2 days after Christmas and ohmyfuckinggod what am I going to feed them? This will be a whole other post in itself. Short story, in the 10.5 years Jared and I have been together, his dad has only been to our house, maybe 5 times...for no longer then 20 minutes. His dads wife, only once. They're coming to spend the day with us...so yea, ohmyfuckinggod my house will be a disaster and look like Toys R Us exploded. Must distract with food and cute kids.

Christmas Funk

2009-12-07T12:55:00.002-05:00

I generally love Christmas, I'm usually eager to hang the lights and get the tree up. I actually LIKE Christmas shopping. I love picking out gifts for people that I know will make them happy, especially my boys.

This year though, I don't know, I just can't get in to it. Maybe it's b/c November was so unseasonably warm. Maybe it's b/c money is tight or maybe I'm just turning in to a cynical old bitty.

The tree is up but it's not decorated. The stockings are hung but the rest of the decorations are still in the boxes. Thing 1 is sick, so decorating will be put off another day or two and that would usually bum me out...but not this year. This year I just don't care. Just call me lady grinch.

I am almost finished with my shopping...and I am excited about the things I bought. We found T1's much requested Devastator and the baby will simply be happy playing with the boxes and wrapping paper. Of course he'll get some gifts as well, like the Little People Farm House. :)

Oh...and to add some stress to my Christmas Funk, I found out the in-laws will be coming for a visit the Sunday after Christmas. Oy. It's a story for another day, but HH and his father have a strained relationship, at best. His step-mom is not the nicest person or the easiest person to get along with. At least the boys will be here as a distractions. They haven't seen T2 since he was a month old. :/

Wow...this was just a grinchy ass post. Sarcasm and bitchiness coming back soon, promise.

A conversation with myself

2009-12-01T11:24:00.002-05:00

Allow me to set the scene. I just put T2 down for a nap and am thinking now would be a good time to shower. Showering is just as important as the dishes, laundry and work I should be doing. Yes, I think I'll shower.

Hmm, it's been awhile since I weighed myself.
I did already eat breakfast though.
Eh, whatever, let's do this.

....oh, damn. Guess I haven't lost any more by eating Chipotle and drinking Starbucks. I'm shocked.

In case you are wondering, I've been bouncing between 3 numbers that are okay but still 5lbs heavier then I was last November. Blah

Anyway...
Getting in the shower

I should probably lay off the cookies
oh, cookies. I should bake a couple mint chocolate chips ones when I get out. Those sound good.
Wait, how is that laying off the cookies?

I'm so going to blog about this.
If I don't forget.
Everytime I say I'm going to blog about something, I forget about it.
Should I really start a blog about getting in the shower?
Eh, whatever.
I've really been slacking in the blog department. No new posts and thanks to google reader I rarely leave comments. I really need to fix that. I'm a bad bad blogger friend.

And after that...my mind wandered off to think about Christmas lists and how on earth I'm going to find this damn Transformer that T1 wants for less then $100. Oy. Tis the season.

Annoying

2009-11-20T08:21:00.003-05:00

The title of this post is so open, I could go on and on. I won't...but I could.

As I was getting T1 ready for school today he said something so funny. Seriously, I was cracking up. It would have been a 2 line post but it would have been fabulous. However, in true mommy fashion, I can not remember what he said. It was just over an hour ago and yet...no clue.

This is what mommyhood does to you. They call it baby brain while you are pregnant, what they don't tell you is that it doesn't go away once you shove that baby out. Nope. I have to leave myself notes and make lists otherwise I would forget simple things, like you know, feed children. Kidding, kidding. kind of

So, since I can't remember what I wanted to blog about....and so that you don't feel that you totally wasted 30 seconds of your Friday reading...I will leave you with these pictures.

Not to get all sappy on you, but this right here is what keeps me going. My boys playing and laughing.

I'm not sure I want to know what they are plotting

The three of them were playing. HH would have the snake, talking to T1's transformer and T2 would swoop in and steal the snake. He thought it was the funniest thing ever.
-oh, and it was after bath time, I don't normally let my toddler run around naked in Nov.Go on, put down those phones. No need to call in CPS

And this is what happens when you try to take pics of a 17 month old with cars

Wow, I'm boring

2009-11-17T15:54:00.002-05:00

I was trying to think of something to blog about, when I realized I haven't blogged in awhile. You'd think I would have some great stories saved up and that I'm just super crazy busy with my fabulous life to blog. Um, no.

We're having beautiful November days, which I am loving. It'll be gray soon enough, so I'll enjoy seeing sunshine while it lasts.

I was introduced Twilight Fan Fiction. I'm so screwed. As if the books weren't enough of an addiction, now it's like a never ending supply of Edward. Oh, and let's not even discuss the Stephanie Plum fanfic I have waiting for me. Ahhh...Ranger, oh Ranger.
I don't normally ask questions...but if you have read the Stephanie Plum series, I have to know. Are you team Ranger or team Morelli? If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out Janet Evanovich. You won't be sorry.

Oh...New Moon comes out on Friday. I'm excited as hell. No, not just for the movie...for the fact that one of my best friends and I are meeting up Monday morning for Starbucks and then smuggling some of the best cupcakes known to man in to 11am showing. It's going to be sinful and glorious and much needed girl time. Ahhhhh.

Handsome Hubby hates his job. My heart breaks for him when I see how beat down he is getting, it's really taking a toll on his self esteem and it sucks. He's ridiculously smart and doesn't give himself enough credit and I wish something would change for him, and soon. *sigh*

Yep, that's about it around here. The boys are good...T1 is still a chatter box in school but is doing well when he does manage to get his work finished. T2 is in to every.thing. So much fun and so maddening all at the same time :)

Oh...and my PSA for the day:
It is November. We have not had turkey yet. DO NOT TURN YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ON!! Seriously, don't do it. It's wrong. Hang them? Sure, go for it, but leave the damn things turned off until Black Friday. K, thanks.

Ah, being evil is so much fun

2009-11-08T09:15:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned before that HH and I are done having kids. We're both totally fine with that and even on the days that I feel the urge to cuddle and snoogle an itty bitty baby, the idea of actually having another one to care for full time right now makes my head spin. That being said, I love to torment my poor husband, who I think is still afraid that I am going to come to him all doe-eyed and wistful asking to please just have ONE more.
My friend Natalie bought me a birthday card and the outside says:

"Congratulations! I heard you're expecting..."

The inside:

"Another Birthday
(Scared ya, didn't I?)"

Ah, it was perfect.

So last night, while HH is unsuspectingly playing Wii bowling with T1 I casually walk over and say "oh, check out the card Nat bought me" he takes it and read the front and I could literally feel his heart stop beating, his face turn white and in those 10 seconds I thought for sure he might have a heart attack...or pass out...or go for the bottle of vodka on the fridge. Then he opened it.
HH: That's not even fucking funny
M: Blame Nat
HH: Why don't you just get her on the phone.

Mind you, Nat is pregnant and due in Jan, my other friend Karol (and I would link her blog but ahem, she hasn't updated in MONTHS!!! Jeez, like she's busy with work and school and kids or something) is due in April (or is it May?!) I did get Nat on the phone and HH informed her that he was going to put out a restraining order. Since the 3 of us had our first babies all around the same time, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm going to hop on the bandwagon.

Ah, fun times torturing my poor poor husband...I think it scares him that if I DID decide I wanted another, he'd eventually be the father of 3 b/c let's face it. What mama wants, mama usually finds a way to get. :)

Don't worry hun, I think you're safe on this one!